Ten things that are essentially Indian

1. Bargaining prowess

Whether it be with autowalas, shopkeepers, or roadside sabjiwalas, Indians know how to haggle their way to victory. In a series of calculated moves, the true Indian will fight against any perceived injustice, joyfully save a handful of notes, and perhaps even strike a friendship with the over-charging adversary.

2. Hard to stomach

Most Indians are born with the ability to identify which street food is fit for consumption. Those deprived of this innate knowledge can learn through trial and error. From chole bhature and aloo tikki to kachori and vada pav, Indian street food is worth braving an upset stomach or two.

3. Poly-bag-ception

The trademark of an Indian household is the storage of multiple poly-bags within a larger poly-bag, creating an extended poly-bag family. Killing two birds with one stone, the true Indian will save the environment and satisfy all his family’s carrying needs at the same time. Appropriately named the "Poly-bag Paradox", this seemingly never-ending supply of poly-bags will diminish only when you need one the most.

4. How to navigate crowds

When confronted with a massive throng of people, an Indian can choose one of two approaches. The aggressive approach entails jutting the elbows out firmly, locking eyes with the destination and charging ahead. Those reluctant to follow this tactic can lower their heads, make themselves inconspicuous, and attempt to slip through the cracks in the crowd.

5. The pochha Olympics

The true Indian child will be familiar with and adept at the game of "The Floor is Wet" (the Indian version of "The Floor is Lava"). The objective of the game is to avoid the glistening, wet areas of the floor and make it to the desired destination, all the while avoiding the reprimanding gaze of parental figures. Or you could wait for it to dry, but who has the time for that?

6. Coconut oil

Enough said.

7. Good as new

Intent on preserving the pristine condition of their vehicles, Indian car owners will insist on leaving the plastic seat and headrest covers untouched until they have been torn to shreds by children and fidgety adults. Long after the new-car smell has disappeared, bumpers scratched and gaalis exchanged, the plastic covers will reluctantly be removed.

8. Waste not, want not

The average Indian housekeeper does not believe in wasting perfectly reusable resources. The practice of re-using containers can often foster feelings of distrust and betrayal. Nothing is what it claims to be. To your greatest dismay, your Nutella jar now contains imli ki chutney and the tin of cookies is filled with an assortment of masalas.

9. The you-were-in-diapers-when-I-last-saw-you conundrum

Thanks to the procreating skills of their ancestors, a majority of Indians have staggeringly large families. As is their imperfect nature, human beings are susceptible to occasional memory loss. It is in these situations that the brave and confident Indian will pretend to recognise distant relatives and greet them with feigned enthusiasm.

10. Cross-legged heaven

The average Indian will immediately attest to the pleasure that comes from sitting cross-legged. Presenting comfort beyond compare, this manner of sitting can soften the hardest of floors, enhance the movie-watching experience in theatres and ensure that the body remains flexible and limbered. Regretfully, particularly tall Indians may find this position troublesome and leg-numbing.