Our mothers need to stop being shamed for being busy
Just a few days ago, a British tabloid ran an article about how Chelsea Clinton, Bill and Hillary Clinton's daughter, missed dropping her daughter Charlotte off on her first day at day care in New York (she turns two this month).
Chelsea was apparently away in North Carolina, campaigning for her mother, who's running for the president of the United States, at the time.
Other media (American) joined in on the "shaming", posing a question and asking readers to send in their responses.
In response to this "mommy shaming", Scarymommy.com carried a story, where the writer Maria Guido, wrote, "What planet are we on? How many households have families where both parents can make it to school drop off? That's not even really a thing. The whole purpose of this article and subsequent coverage is to remind women that they are somehow going against nature by not being a mom first, all the time."
I'd have to agree with Maria. It doesn't matter what Chelsea was doing, whether she was campaigning for her mother, or having lunch with friends. The fact is, she was occupied, and the child's father dropped the kid to day care. This is absolutely normal.
Chelsea did not miss the milestone of the century. Had both parents been missing, sure, that could be mildly worrisome, but the kid's dad was there.
Chelsea, by the way, works at the Clinton Foundation, prior to which she's worked at NBC News, McKinsey and Company, and Avenue Capital Group; she has also taught at Columbia University and had a stint at New York University.
It's high time we stop placing the guilt on moms, while simultaneously trying to amend bills that allow women to remain in the workforce. Be it the US or India, what we need along with legislation, is a change in mindsets.
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| Chelsea Clinton with husband Marc Mezvinsky and newborn son Aidan. (Photo credit: Reuters) |
Until we believe it is perfectly normal for a woman to be busy, at work or elsewhere, and for a dad to do the stuff moms are usually "associated" with, we'll never get ahead.
So we can go on about being progressive and welcoming new age concepts such as the stay-at-home dad, but until we accept this situation as one of equality and stop being judgmental about the mom, it's really just lip service.
I, for instance, missed my daughter's first day at preschool. I had broken two vertebrae in my back and was on bed rest. My husband dropped her, and it was fine.
She wasn't scarred for life by my absence, and was equally happy to go with her father. In fact, she doesn't even remember it. And neither will Chelsea's daughter. So let's cut her - and all mums - some slack.
Moreover, every rational adult is capable of judging for themselves which task at hand requires prioritisation. If the campaign was more important, and Chelsea chose to go for that, that's fine.
Where does it say that we stop owing anything to our parents once we become parents ourselves? Why should their needs be disregarded, just because we now have a baby?
It's 2016, and technology now allows us to make babies from three parents (just happened in Mexico), allows transgender or same-sex parents to have kids using assisted reproduction techniques, and will probably soon make gene coding mainstream. But we're still mom-shaming. And that's a real shame.
(Courtesy of Mail Today.)