What are money wounds? Where do they come from?

Akshata Kamath
Akshata KamathAug 03, 2022 | 17:52

What are money wounds? Where do they come from?

Money wounds are the stories, core beliefs, thought patterns, and subsequent actions (that come through these core beliefs) that keep you away from your monetary desires. These wounds can trickle down your generational heritage or can come from feeling unworthy, having a poverty mindset, or even shaming the rich.

What are money wounds? Most of our money beliefs and stories are subconscious and often seep into our belief systems when we socialize with the world. For eg, have you heard these words/ phrases while growing up?  

  • ''Don't lend money to your friends. They will never return it''
  • ''Archaeology doesn't pay well. You can only make money if you are a doctor or an engineer''
  • ''Our relatives were nice till the moment they became rich. Once they made a lot of money, they changed completely. Money changes people and makes them greedy'' 
  • ''All these rich businessmen are thieves'' 

  • ''This is the maximum salary in this industry. You can't make more unless you reach a level.''
  • ''You won't make good money unless you do an MBA from some good college like that Sharmaji ka ladka''
  • ''How can you go into a marriage with so many loans on your head? No one will marry you''

Now, have any of these beliefs ever affected your own behaviour or the way you behave with others?

We often listen to these casual statements and opinions that come from someone's ''personal experience'' and take them to be true for us and run with it. But these statements can influence our thoughts and beliefs about money, our fears around it, our actions, and the stories we tell ourselves about why things will not work out for us. Now, that again becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    Where do these money blocks come from? 

    1. Trickles down belief systems: Since humans (especially young kids) primarily seek connection and care, most of us believe it straight up without questioning it or without understanding the complete context. We think, ''why would they lie to us? It must be true. They take care of us after all.''

    So as kids or while growing up, we first go through someone else's experience and then form our own beliefs based on this experience. Or we just copy someone else's beliefs based on how frequently it is told to us. 

    But here's the thing: Our caregiver's 40-60 years of experience come from their own unique situations that they have created with the thoughts, beliefs, habits, and expectations that they have taken from others. And since everyone's situations and conditions are different and keep changing constantly, why should these beliefs be universally accepted in changing times??

    2. Shaming the rich:

    A lot of popular movies that depict the divide between the rich and the poor always depict the rich to be villains. The poor always seem to have an attitude that sort of says'' though I am poor, at least I am a good Christian'' which indirectly shows that people have to choose between being rich or being good, and people would rather be good than being rich. Though it is true that some rich folks could be mean, selfish, and don't pay taxes. But society often generalizes and picks up the undertones of movies or a one-off event and tries to apply learnings universally. Remember AOC's Met Gala dress that subtly ''shamed the rich''? 

    3. Feeling unworthy 

    Aren't we fed limiting beliefs and negative concepts like ''don't spend so much'', ''you have to work hard'', and ''money doesn't grow on trees''? When you repeatedly hear ''money doesn't grow on trees'' what you deeply end up believing and internalizing is that: ''You need to work very very hard to make money or else you can't make enough money''. So you end up opting for harder ways to make money and when the easy ways appear, you chuck them as if they don't matter. Coz now, you don't believe in earning money the easy way. 

    4. Scarred by poverty mindset

    • Have you ever loaned an amount to your friend and never received it back? That's probably because you still believe that you won't receive it.
    • Are you on talking terms with them or ever talk about this topic? If not, that's probably because you expect it will never come to you and since you believe that it will never come to you soon enough, you think talking about it will only ''make things awkward''. So you might as well not talk about it.
    • If you really believed that they could return the money, you would always assure them with your actions and beliefs that you trusted them and believed in their capacity to repay the money. Would you ever act like this if you had opposite beliefs?         

    So, how do you change this?

    • You can change your beliefs first and then let that mold your experiences.
    • Our brain is hard-wired to develop and repeat unhealthy patterns with money and cause more wounding. Invest in yourself and inquire about your beliefs. Find out: What are your money stories and why do you believe them? What's the story you told yourself when you were little? Though the story was true then, it doesn't have to remain the same.
    • You can journal your thoughts or work with a money mindset coach. Sitting with your emotions, processing them, and accepting your emotions can also help you heal your wounds. Step out of the paradigm that people have set for you and if you feel scared, be open to learning why you are scared.
    Last updated: August 04, 2022 | 15:12
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