What Justin Bieber's strange demands for his first India trip say about him
No selfie with Justin for you
No cell phones near Justin. Forget carrying paper even as even autographs are prohibited backstage.
He wants his sofa, cupboard and PING PONG table to be flown down
Ten containers full of items like a ping pong table, playstation, IO HAWK, sofa set, washing machine, refrigerator, upholstery, wardrobe cupboard, massage table will be flown as part of his backstage requirements. Arrangements for a Jacuzzi have also been made so that Bieber can unwind before he takes to the stage. So yes, while you wait in the queue, chances are that Bieber is getting a massage and chilling in the Jacuzzi.
Food will be renamed after his popular songs
Our suggestions: Baby potatoes, Never Say Never to Karela, Beauty and a Beetroot, All That Mutter, Life is Worth Living for Kaali Dal.
He hearts purple, and also white
Apart from refurbishing his 1,000 sq ft suite to include “Mogul paintings, antique furniture and signature Kashmiri bedroom linen”, the room “will be adorned with purple carnations”. But no lilies whatsoever. His dressing room has to “be entirely draped with white curtains” and should be equipped with “12 white handkerchiefs”.
“The hotel will convert itself into Bieber’s private villa with three floors of the hotel being booked” – to accommodate his entourage of his entourage 120 people – and “one elevator blocked on all 4 full days for Bieber alone”. Befriending the CCTV camera operator of the hotel’s lift should be priority for tabloid reporters.
He is a yoga junkie
Ministry of AYUSH may want to rope Justin in as brand ambassador and Baba Ramdev should consider joining him on stage in an asana showdown for “a special Indian Yoga Casket containing aromatic essential oils; jasmine, mogra, rose and camphor incense sticks; and books on chakras and yoga asanas will be placed in his suite”.
A licensed female masseuse aka the luckiest lady alive will be brought down from Kerala whose job is to cater to Bieber’s massage needs on all four days.
Justin is just like you. He likes Dove body wash
Also cans of wildberries and vanilla room fresheners, hydrating lip balms. But seriously it looks like the cheapest of his innumerable demands.
Once in India he and his crew want to be entertained
Bieber’s team will be submitted a list of spray tan salon (no need, just get out of the hotel), sushi restaurant (given his lofty standards only Wasabi qualifies), steakhouse (forget about beef), Italian restaurant (too many to choose from), shopping mall (unless he wants to be mobbed), bowling alley (so passé), movie theatre (see Baahubali 2), skate park (what’s that?)...
He is smart as he is avoiding Indian roads
A private jet has been booked and a chopper is on stand-by to meet his travel demands in India. He will be flown into the stadium on a chopper.
He is a thirsty young man
His demands include "24 still water bottles, 24 alkaline water bottles, 4 energy drinks, 6 vitamin water bottles, 6 cream sodas as well as a cooler packed with assorted juices fizzy drinks". The rider also lists "4 natural juices, 4 vanilla protein drinks and half a gallon of almond milk".
He is picky about his food
Vegetables seasoned with ranch sauce; snacks must include a deli platter of organic turkey, lettuce, colby and provolone cheese, black olives, as well as green and banana peppers. Backstage he wants mint and watermelon gum, white cheddar popcorn, Ghiradelli dark chocolate with sea salt and almonds, vinegar chips, organic dried fruit, and all berries cereal.
He’d also like a large pack of Swedish Fish, boxes of Ritz Bitz peanut butter and cheese sandwiches and multiple packs of Haribo Cola Gummies.
How to keep Biebs happy? Get a boombox.
With an iPhone battery because he can’t be expected to carry his own charger with an adaptor.
Need we say we feel a tad “Sorry” for the tour organiser.