50 Shades of Cinderella: EL James is turning Cinderella raunchy! And it's about time!

There's life after fairytales, you know. The ones with real 'happy endings!'

 |  3-minute read |   29-01-2019
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EL James has safely put Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele to bed — in more ways than one — and is swiftly moving on to her next project.

The 50 Shades writer, whose career of five books and three movies pretty much revolutionised sex, recently announced her next, titled The Mister, set to release in April this year.

The Mister is the tale of a handsome and moneyed Brit, Maxim Trevelyan and the woman he falls for, Alessia Demachi. "It's a 21st century Cinderella," she told TODAY.

Now, all that is great. But does this mean James is going to leave us high and dry with this one, and not step into the ‘Grey’ areas of yore?

Nope. James will deliver as promised.

1d274906429135-x_tdy_012819070512.jpgDelivered, as promised! (Source: YouTube screengrab)

A press release about the book reads: (it is) a roller-coaster ride of danger and desire that leaves the reader breathless to the very last page.

And.

We.

Are.

Hooked.

Come to think of it, The Mister has all the trappings that pretty much had us handcuffed in the 50 Shades series.

Mister Maxim Trevelyan is both handsome and moneyed, much like his predecessor, Christian Grey — a powerful man in crisp suits, how can one avoid getting turned on?

And then, the story is about ‘danger’ and ‘desire’ — oh, for the love of God, tell us more.

Add to that the fact that he’s a Brit this time, and all you’ll hear drop from our mouths is a quivering “Don’t stop!”

But what really rocks our world is the assurance that this will be a modern Cinderella story! Hell, yeah. Bring it on.

fiftyshades_012819070643.jpgWeren’t The Beauty and The Beast the original Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey? (Source: YouTube screengrab)

You see, there’s not one generation, young or old, who’s not grown up without ever reading one of these fairy tales.

But here’s the thing — they are (well, most of them are) adults now.

So, a love story between an orphan raised by her stepmother and a charming, dashing Prince, based entirely on tautology will not do. You can’t fool us anymore, mister. A well-fitted shoe doesn’t just drop — let’s just say a lot more was ‘struck’ that night the two met at a ‘ball’ apart from the clock striking 12, and that Princey and Cindy clearly put the ‘O’ in 12 o’ clock!

In fact, what kind of a relationship do you think Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs had? Platonic?

Do you think the conversation between Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf was only restricted to ‘big ears,’ ‘big eyes,’ and ‘big teeth?’ We ‘big’ to differ.

And now think about it. Weren’t The Beauty and The Beast the original Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, respectively? Of course, they were. Only much kinkier — like XXX level.

So yeah. It’s about time someone dropped the shoe on fairytales. And some handcuffs and plugs, too, while they’re at it.

Let the ‘little’ prince grow up, will you? Cuz there's life after fairytales, you know! The ones with real 'happy endings,' that is. 

And who better to do it than EL James — the one who twisted the comforting beckoning of good ol’ Mills and Boon on its gonads, and held it so long that both the novelty and the prudence attached to sex was lost. Sex is now regular. As regular as black coffee.

For everything else, there’s Parental Guidance.

Also read: Rise of the Planet of Digisexuals. Finally we have a solution to Indian 'mard's' problems

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