How social media kills you, post by post

For those familiar with social media interactions, these are comments one makes or receives when a Facebook/Twitter/Instagram friend uploads a particularly flattering selfie (beauty lens and filters on full throttle) or a video of themselves, doing one of those one-lakh-a-month personal trainer workouts.

Sample a social media conversation that invariably follows such status updates:

"OMG! You've lost so much weight. Looking awesome. Killing it."

"Thanx babes. Love you Mwah. Coffee long overdue."

"Yes. As soon as I'm back from Paris. What diet are you following babes? Tell na secret babes."

"Ketosis. Will inbox you my dieticians number babes. She's fab."

"Ketosis! No way sweets. Last time I went on that I was dead."

"This is one kinda of killer".

Now that is a Maar daala update.

Then there is another kind of "killer" update - the dubsmash. "Yeh Haath mujhe de de Thakur. Ye haath mujhe de de Thakur. Ye haath Mujhe de de Thaakoooorrrr!", face looming into the camera. Teeth bared, paunch scratched, pleased as punch.

The standard response to such updates is: "Ha hahahahaha."

"Bwahahahahaha. Killing it Dude!"

"Next time we meet, you gotta show me this dubsmash shit & how it works. Killler bro. Good stuff."

Then there is the third kind - the real killer. Killed it, maar daala, for good. Only nobody uses those words.

Instead it is worded as "passed away", "moved on", "left us", or "moved to a higher spiritual plane".

Genuine awkward shock laden RIPs reactions follow. Everybody is genuinely sorry to hear that.

Social media accounts of the deceased are sometimes kept alive by loved ones and you occasionally post a heart or a "miss you so" or a "can't believe you're gone" comment.

Such is social media lingo. One has got used to it and slipped into using similar expressions, without thought or fear of repercussion. With the exception of a few instances of moral policing - like the case of the two unfortunate British boys who were arrested by American authorities for tweeting to each other just before a holiday, "I'm going to destroy America and dig up Marilyn Monroe" - most of us are safe.

I remember the headline vividly - British pair arrested in US on terror charges over Twitter jokes. How we laughed it off. I wasn't on social media at the time (this was 2012), but I had wondered then, who would use language like that?

Last night, before bed time, I was reminded of the incident as news filtered in that Indrani Mukerjea, a media head honcho's wife, was arrested for murder. I assumed it was one of those cases where, as a precautionary measure, the police detains people for talking rubbish on social media. Much like the British boys, who said they would destroy America, or the two Mumbai girls who were arrested soon after Shiv Sena chief Bal Thackeray's death for protesting a Mumbai bandh declared a day later.

And so, hoping it was a cruel joke, I scoured the internet for news on the Mukerjeas.

No, this was no social media boo boo. Indrani Mukerjea, wife of Peter Mukerjea, former CEO, Star TV, was arrested for murdering her sister, disposing off the body and keeping it secret for three whole years.

I found this hard to digest and still can't bring myself to believe it. Not that I know Indrani or Peter well, except that we crossed paths at social events (more so when our children were younger and we were invited to the same kid-friendly fare), and then on Facebook where we have been friends for about two years. I quickly searched Indrani's profile for any controversial status updates - there were none.

Just many gorgeous selfies and pictures with her family. No killer updates, just the usual "so-happy-for-you" stuff. The pouting Mukerjeas posing happily on family holidays.

Yet, social media erupted with venom. From "Wow, not just killing her sister but getting rid of the body & pretending nothing happened for three years. Is this where we can reach?" and "OMG is there a killer lurking in our friends circle" to "Do we really know the people we think we know" and "Criminal minds hiding behind beautiful faces and designer gowns."

I dread to think what these same people would say about me if I was ever trapped in such a macabre circumstance. I, for one, don't believe any of this. I don't believe the Talwars killed their daughter Aarushi either. They are victims of a larger, murkier plot/system and have paid a bone-crunching price for being part of it.

I hope the truth emerges quickly in the case and fate is kinder to the Mukerjeas.

Oh wait. The red light is blinking on my recently updated Facebook app already. A friend has sent me a private message: "Dont be so naive Suchitra. Why would the Mumbai police take her into custody otherwise. Killer DP BTW- love it!"