"Dear NIA, My daughter's a moron", is what one could conceivably imagine the baffled and hapless retired Indian Army Colonel saab to have written.
The Indian Express carried a wholly remarkable story in its A1 slot today about the Australia-returned daughter of a retired Lieutenant Colonel bent on joining the 21st century's flag bearer of debauchery. No, not Ashley Madison. ISIS.
How does that even happen? I mean, with Bondi beach and "G'day mate". How does a Shiela from India who spent time at the local DSOI, looked out for a crush at jam sessions and probably participated in a May Queen Ball or two - snuck tinnies from her old man's stash - change her post-graduate major and buy into the whole burkha-clad sex slave career?
Growing up an army brat, I have to admit I've met some strange girls (you know who you are) but this one takes bizzarro to an altogether different level.
And so the Colonel saab got the NIA and IB involved, who are hoping to convince the young lady to not join ISIS (writing this sentence was a bit surreal).
The report notes that, "One of the key recruiters for IS in Australia is a jihadi named Neil Prakash," who - the report adds - is a former Buddhist who now goes by the nom de guerre Abu Khalid al-Cambodi.
Is that right?
"Why didn't he just go ahead and get a sex-change as well while he was at it," asked a friend of mine.
Australia's apparently quite the employment exchange for the group that has to its credit levels of cruelty that are in a class of their own in the modern world - sui generis in terms of bloodletting, where indulging sadistic and psychopathic tendencies is positively encouraged. And this is has nothing to do with Mel Gibson or Mad Max.
Safe to assume, though, these activities are unlikely to have been offered by the "premier Delhi University college" of which she is a graduate (for the most part, anyway). But how did she come to change her mind about what she wanted to do in life? What convinced this young person, who's probably had a perfectly, innocently happy time growing up and getting a post-graduate degree to become a terrorist? How did she get influenced - what kind of electronic warfare jamming signal struck the trajectory of her life and shunted its path to such a different direction? Did she fail the mains? What?
Turns out it was the internet.
Yep. "My daughter's a moron" - that's what he wrote.