Woof! BJP is going to the dogs

BJP members seem to have a special relationship with dogs, but the most recent statement by Kailash Vijayvargia really takes the, er, bone.

The BJP leader, reacting to fellow party member Shatrughan Sinha's controversial inside-trolling of the party on the Bihar debacle, said "when a car is moving, the dog chases it, believing the car is running because of him." Earlier VK Singh had made a comment about not holding the govt responsible for every dog that's stoned after an unfortunate and ghastly burning alive of a Dalit in Haryana - and Narendra Modi's statement on the Gujarat riots, saying he was pained, like when small puppies get crushed under fast cars, is well known.

Vijayvargiya, however, has shown himself to be a leading light in dog behaviour. Dog psychology has told us that dogs chase cars because they have a hunting instinct, because they like a chase, they are hard wired to chase any moving object, that where in open meadows they chased sheep and cows, in urban areas they replace this instinct with chasing cars.

This new one by Vijayvargiya is an astonishing insight into the mind of dog, previously unrecorded by animal behavioural experts.

Taking up from the Vijayvargiya school of dog psychology, here are some other previously undocumented insights into dog psychology:

Why do dogs howl in the night?

Because newshour with Arnab is over and they are expressing their sadness at this.

Why do dogs chase cats?

Dogs chase cats because dogs are lifelong members of the BJP while seeing cats as belonging to Opposition party. In fact, cats are named after Congress (both start with C, see?)

Why do dogs bare their teeth?

They are expressing a desire to get their teeth brushed with pure Ayurvedic toothpaste made at Patanjali.

Why do dogs wag their tails at their masters?

See, this is exactly why Shatrughan Sinha is not qualified to be a dog yet. He must try harder.

Why do dogs' ears cock up?

Because someone somewhere has made a disparaging remark against BJP, and dogs are always alert on this, specially on social media. They will sniff out the culprit and attack in a pack. (Well done, boys!).

In dog Sholay, what does Gabbar say to his lackey?

"Kitne kutte the?"

Why does every dog have his day?

Historically, we have seen, dogs have been suppressed. There is an Elephanta caves and Dophins' Nose, and even Por-Bundar the birthplace of Gandhiji, but no tourist spot named after dogs. Dogs are now demanding that roads be named after them too. In fact, they are barking from a congregation at jantar mantar, why not a whole building named after dogs in central Delhi?

If cow is gauma, what is female dog?

Dogma, duh.

But in English that means...

Don't be so dogmatic, you English imperialist slave of the Queen.

Alright, changing the topic, who's the top dog these days?

Is this even a question to answer? (Canned dog laughter)