Intimidate, not date: Why Katrina Kaif hasn't been asked out in a decade!
Breaking news: Katrina Kaif has NOT been asked out on a date in the last 10 years. A whole decade!
Why? Katrina’s Zero co-star, Anushka Sharma, has, in an ACP Pradyuman-esque sweep, managed to solve the mystery that’s keeping the nation awake — Men are intimidated by her.
And apparently, this isn’t even the first time Anushka said that. Except no one listens to her, even when she’s trying to impart civic sense to littering city boys.
Katrina’s other co-star, Shah Rukh Khan is flabbergasted, and has a solution — he is taking her out and around his city, Delhi, for a date that includes parathas.
Oh, Dilliwale and their big dil!
Problem solved. But, not quite.
Also, parathas? Really? Do parathas trump men?
If I had a penny for every time I heard that men are intimidated by strong women, I’d be able to buy myself a ticket to Italy and jump into Lake Como. But I am not Pennywise and IT isn’t the problem.
The problem is that not everyone has a Shah Rukh sitting next to her, offering to change this supposed ‘sad’ occurrence by asking them out for parathas.
Most of us are, instead, left wondering if it is, after all, our own fault. If we are too feminist, too outspoken, too independent and too capable of opening jars for ourselves that we’re shooing away men like flies off a pie?
We can change light bulbs, fix taps, are pretty savvy with the computer, and guess what, we quite enjoy playing Counter-Strike in this counter-narrative.
We can even tell an ‘offside’ and an ‘off drive’ apart. Oh, and we know that these two are from two different worlds, figuratively. And we also know that you are too gullible.
So how can a man improve our already evolved existence? What knowledge can he possibly impart if there’s nothing left to mansplain?
Naturally then, we — the strong, independent, 21st century women — intimidate men.
What are we going to do now?
Activating damsel-in-distress mode in 3...2...1...
Clearly, since men are intimidated, and therefore turned off by women who speak their mind, we women must play dumb. I really see no other solution, ‘cuz, as you know, you don’t have a Shah Rukh sitting next to you and none of them parathas.
Now, Katrina’s case is different. Men are probably confused about whether she is dating Salman Khan or Ranbir Kapoor, and hence just sticking to the bro-code.
But you, my friend, you are being tricked. Tricked into believing that the only way forward is backward.
If ACP Pradyuman has been referenced, can Inspector Daya be far behind? Therefore, Daya, tod doh darwaza.
Here’s what you can do instead of eating off the palms of misogyny — ask someone out yourself!
At first, the concept may seem a bit alien to you, like women’s education or a wedding without a dowry, or equal partnership in a marriage, but soon, you will realise that it is NOT rocket science.
Seriously, men have been doing it.
For in saying that men are intimidated to ask you out, you are simultaneously blaming men and hoping that they’d come to rescue you from your distress. You’re actually just stuck in the damsel mode, only upgraded to Damsel 2.0 version!
Snap out, and intimidate away. You will be surprised to know how many men actually like that.