Koffee With Karan Season 6 has a new set, new rapid-fire lights have been added, it has a new ‘gaming area’ and host Karan Johar has a new secretary — Google Home. Of course, the couch, the floor and the throw pillows keep changing every season, so I am not going there.
What grabs attention is, however, the bright pink neon sign the camera slowly zooms into, which reads, “Stop making sense!
It is, therefore, safe to assume that ‘stop making sense’ is their motto.
That starts making all the more sense (ironically enough) when you’re going ‘what just happened’ at every episode of the celebrated celebrity chat show.
It all makes sense now, ironically. (Source: Hotstar screengrab)
‘What just happened’ is for the sheer bizarreness of the information thrown at us. Information that we didn’t need. Information that we didn’t ask for. All in the name of 'entertainment'.
Now, I am never going to root for censorship — but dude, I didn’t need to know that Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao “shower together pretty often.” It’s great if they do. It’s great if they’re at each other like rabbits all the time. I STILL don’t want to hear about it. What’s next? That they share a toothbrush?
TMI! TMI! (Source: Hotstar screengrab)
Saif Ali Khan would rather get caught cheating than catch his partner in the act. Not because the knowledge of his better half cheating on him would shatter him — but because if he is going to feel miserable about it, might as well derive some (sort of) pleasure from the scenario. At least then, he’s physically satisfied, if not mentally.
This, while his daughter is sitting right next to him.
“Ghhor kalyug,” as the friendly neighbourhood aunty would say.
Karan Johar once fell off the bed during sex. We will be given this unnecessary piece of information — but not who he was with.
Alia Bhatt and Deepika Padukone often walk into men’s loos abroad. Of course, to avoid the long queue outside the ladies’, that is. And then, they giggle away like Gossip Girls.
What is this? Toilet: Ek Prem Katha?
Follow her eyes. Yup. (Source: Hotstar screengrab)
Deepika even declares that the first thing she notices in a man is, well...
Speaking of toilets, the one episode that’s particularly going down the drain is the one where Akshay Kumar and Ranveer Singh share the couch. Now, the idea was to establish that Ranveer is the new-age Akshay — unabashed with a devil-may-care attitude.
To make that point, a complicated equation was drawn up on how both actors had done an ‘undies dance’ in their eighth or ninth film. 'Undies dance' means exactly what you think — dancing in an underwear. So Befikre had Ranveer don a red one, while Suhaag had Akshay don a blue one. “It’s amazing!” says Akshay, as he points out this similarity.
It gets worse. They move down south from undies and reach pubic hair very briefly before they soar up to nipples. Not even kidding.
Karan Johar gives the two actors a task — to enact a death scene where Ranveer is dying and Akshay, the older brother, has to avenge his death. Serious, emotional scene, presumably.
Except when Akshay starts molesting Ranveer.
What did I just see? (Source: Hotstar screengrab)
It had stopped making sense a long time ago. At this point, it’s not even funny anymore.
Now, given the fact that Koffee With Karan keeps coming back season after season, with newer celebrities, making newer (read: controversial) headlines every time, one would assume that the TRPs are in place. It must be, right? So why did the show have to take this path? This brazen, undignified, borderline-crass path?
When the AIB Roast of Ranveer and Arjun Kapoor happened, almost half the nation laughed, except people in various positions of power, politically. They huffed and puffed, for their feathers were ruff’ed. But since that IS the international format of a Roast, it was okay. Koffee With Karan, however, is no Roast. But clearly, being prudish doesn’t give you numbers.
Naturally, then, the Koffee beans need to be Roasted, this time.
Also read: Koffee with #MeToo: What happens when two thinking men talk about sexual harassment in Bollywood