Nastiest review of Mohenjo Daro (without even watching the film)
Hrithik Roshan's chest hair are acting more than his face in Mohenjo Daro.
Hrithik Roshan cannot act. He's been in one (Koi Mil Gaya) perhaps two (add Dhoom2?) memorable movies, which weren't really originals.
His movies are littered with overacting and one too many dance numbers. He's got less charisma than a puppy and more muscles than this cow.
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| Can this bull act better than Hrithik? The answer may surprise you. |
He's a human dumbbell with a clownass nickname (what the hell is a "Greek god" doing in Bandra anyway!?) good dance teacher, a classy ex-wife and zero personality.
Why would anyone want to watch his films?!!
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Well, because he's good-looking.
Dudes want to be him, women want to be with him and in India's "gora fetish culture", Hrithik is considered desirable. Also, because we're generally devoid of personality and intelligence (getting a little emotional here) every good-looking person who can move in a good movie is a "good actor".
JUST LOOK AT HIM TRYING TO EMOTE.
Our lack of knowledge about what actually makes a good movie (hint, an actor just works for at least three-four months on a movie) is staggering.
On to Mohenjo Daro, this is not a review because I haven't seen the movie and have no intention of doing so.
Reason: I'd rather spend my weekend watching pug videos than different close-ups of Hrithik Roshan's chest hair and the assortment of fruity headgears that Pooja Hegde sports.
Gowarikar made one of our favourite films of all time with Swades, and a weird guilty pleasure movie in What's Your Rashee. But the dude just tends to make realllyyyy looooooooooong movies and now we don't really have time for five-hour-long struggles against a hulky hunk wearing horns for a helmet and Hrithik's face shaking uncontrollably whenever he gets "angry" or "emotional".
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But Twitter is democratic and more opionated than I am. So it comes as no surprise that Twitter was divided into two camps to slug it out over Mohenjo Daro:
1. People with actual opinions about the film.
2. People with Hrithik or Mohenjo Daro in their names who are calling it the "greatest movie ever made" and branding all reviewers as basically #Presstitutes.
Because I am putting time and effort in writing this, I will ignore everyone who put out "unbiased" reviews, called it the greatest movie ever, and proudly have Hrithik's photo as their display pictures on Twitter.
Here's what everyone else thought:
Let's start with Amitabh Bachchan's review of Mohenjo Daro:
T 2346 - Wishing Akshay , Ileana and all the cast and crew of 'RUSTOM' the very best .. engrossing and gripping film !!
— Amitabh Bachchan (@SrBachchan) August 11, 2016
Oh well..
#MohenjoDaro Story- Very weakScreenplay- Ist half Very clichéd & boring , 2nd half-Above averageDirection - inconsistent Music -pathetic
— Sumit kadel (@Sumitrajkadel) August 12, 2016
Thappad se darr nahin lagta saab, #MohenjoDaro se lagta hai.
— Che (@ExKeys) August 12, 2016
Me before and after #MohenjoDaro pic.twitter.com/gIzg9GblG1
— ??????? (@Bhai_saheb) August 12, 2016
@kamaalrkhan I wasted my hard earned 200 rupees watching Mohenjo-Daro. Wahiyaat movie
— Laxmi Rai (@laxmirai49) August 12, 2016
#MohenjoDaro is evoking the same emotion inside me as a surprise fart inside a lift #shame #helpless #bhaksaala #UthaLeReBaba
— Udta Bebo Baba (@BibaswanDutta) August 12, 2016
Fate of #MohenjoDaro box office collections in 4 frames... pic.twitter.com/Sv2V1o8xMJ
— Atul Khatri (@one_by_two) August 12, 2016
Today is Kidnap vs Drona all over again. #MohenjoDaro #Rustom
— Arpit Agrawal (@Appy_Fizzz) August 12, 2016
Friend : Bhai, 2-3 din free hai kya? Me : Kyun?Friend : Chal Ashutosh Gowarikar ki #MohenjoDaro dekhte hai
— Pakchikpak Raja Babu (@HaramiParindey) August 12, 2016
Is it time to find a new Hrithik?
I am hritik 6yrs, child model,always dressed in 1980, give me a chance in maveeran kittu - contact @ 9900142333 pic.twitter.com/Jhe58eTRL1
— hritikhasan (@hritikhasan2010) August 12, 2016