New 'DP' alert: Why are men obsessed with the 'amateur boudoir photography' of their 'dark knight rising'?
What is it about a d*** pic?
It's amateur boudoir photography, with more emphasis on the ‘amateur’ than the ‘boudoir’ or the ‘photography.’ I bet at least a couple of them are hidden in your Facebook ‘other’ folder right now if you’re a woman — or displayed all over your phone gallery if you’re a man.
Now, nobody (usually) asks for one to be sent to them, but they receive one anyway. The reason and purpose, however, may differ.
When Jeff Bezos — the richest man in the world — almost let the ball drop (in more ways than one) earlier this year, the giggle-inducing alliterating words — d*** pic —entered our social psyche, and how. Turns out they were ‘leaked’ — what was meant for the consumption of his special friend Lauren Sanchez alone (again, in more ways than one) were now being ‘circulated’, and not by anonymous Internet trolls, the US President, Donald Trump and his media fleet, nonetheless.
this is what Jeff Bezos’ dick looks like pic.twitter.com/G2q7VyLaet
— Chris Cilizza Dance Party (@woke_hoover) February 8, 2019
Jeff Bezos’ penis definitely just looks like Jeff Bezos pic.twitter.com/buRy1pLxr5
— Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) February 7, 2019
The whole incident taught us several things — but the most important takeaway was that Trump was undoubtedly the bigger d*** in the narrative, no matter how great Bezos' camera angles might have been.
Now, the d*** pic narrative has resurfaced when journalist Barkha Dutt caused a tweet storm, accusing Twitter of ‘punishing’ her.
Dutt and several other journalists had offered to help Kashmiri students apparently being harassed in the wake of the Pulwama attack, and Dutt had added that her phone number was available online, if she needed to be reached.
Deluged with what's app messages since yesterday that are abusive and threatening. Seems an organized hate campaign against some of us. One sender confirms my mobile number being circulated in groups. @DelhiPolice bringing this to your attention. pic.twitter.com/7FAfPoYmm4
— barkha dutt (@BDUTT) February 18, 2019
Apparently @Twitter wants to punish me for sharing the numbers of the men who are giving me death threats, sending me dick pictures and harassing me. Talk about being tone deaf on gender equality. Well done @jack @amritat
— barkha dutt (@BDUTT) February 18, 2019
Death threats, d*** pics and verbal abuse soon followed for Dutt via WhatsApp, and when she tweeted to public the harassers, her Twitter account was threatened suspension. Two kinds of d***s. Two types of pics. Two very different intent.
Now, manhood, in its full glory, is a very different thing in India. Just visit your nearest Mahadev Temple and you’d know what I am talking about. So, in that sense, one could say that India managed to capture the essence of the dark knight rising from the damp alleys.
Of course, one might say the Romans had called first dibs on it, with David flaunting the highs and lows of his every sinew.
In today’s post-modern world, David’s glorious asset has gone through an appropriation of sorts — with something beautiful enough to demand an entire damn sculpture being reduced to a representative of something as ugly as a ‘rape threat.’
And no, this has nothing to do with the Indian man’s very humble inheritance.
It does, however, serve one purpose — shock.
As a teen, I remember being scandalised at the site of a man ‘massaging’ his ego in broad daylight as me and a few of my friends were picnicking in the backyard of one of our homes. Our collective squeals helped gather a village, he ran. The image stayed. That was my first d*** pic.
The question I couldn’t ask at the time but I must now, is why are men in love with their own ‘pee buddies’ so damn much? And how do they want us to react to it? Should we squeal? Should we feel embarrassed? Should we compare, label and catalogue them for future references? Should we complain about how pixelated they sometimes are, and then realise that the camera doesn’t always add 20 pounds?
'Cuz, if there's one thing we've gotten used to over time, is having d***s around. Why should pics, however ugly, scare us?
Also read: Rise of the Planet of Digisexuals. Finally we have a solution to Indian 'mard's' problems