Imaginary conversation between Rahul Gandhi and his girlfriend

12 Tughlak Lane

"Open the door Rahul!"

"Hello darling. And again, no."

"What is this I'm reading in the papers? You have extended your leave? How long are you planning to stay in that damn bathroom?"

"What are the papers saying? Any more guesses on where I am? LOL. By the way darling I hope you haven't told mummy?"

"Stop LOLing me Rahul. I'm really pissed off. We could have actually been on vacation while you were officially on vacation. We could have been in Thailand - you know I love those foot massages. Even Uttarakhand would've been alright. Climbing a hill will be better than sitting outside your bathroom everyday."

"Are you mad darling? If I go to Uttarakhand they'll say why not Kanyakumari. If I go to Thailand it's not a happy ending for me either, in the press."

"But you promised me a vacation."

"Vacation is a state of mind darling."

"This is complete nonsense."

"You've got to stop using that phrase, love. It's catchy and you already got me into trouble when I used it in my ordinance speech."

"This is too much. Why not just leak it to the press that you are introspecting in your bathroom. At least it's a first. Then they won't be able to attack you on lack on original ideas at least."

"Are you crazy darling? Can you imagine the reaction of Subramanian Swamy? He's going to go to town suggesting there are Italian marble tiles in my Lutyens bathroom. The Kejriwal fellow is going to go berserk making snide ones on the water and electricity supply in my bathroom as compared to the whole of Delhi. And the press is going to launch an investigation into my laundry basket to check how many times I change my chaddis. And that Ramdev fellow... he's going to say I'm honeymooning in the bathtub."

"I still don't see the point of this bathroom."

"Well it's cool - has its advantages - I could catch a few winks while watching the Budget session live on my iPad without the cameras catching it. Plus I'm feeling quite chuffed with all the attention I'm getting, one chap even filed a PIL on my whereabouts, lulz. What are the chances in hell of getting so much attention without saying or doing anything."

"You know what - I think I may as well go on vacation - permanently - on my own and leave you to your unlimited supply of hot water, Wi-Fi and introspection."

"Darling... wait... darling..."

"Bye."

"Darling, please don't go, my news app tells me the cops are at the door."