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Three weddings I couldn’t attend this season, and why

No, not talking about those of Deepika, Priyanka and Isha Ambani! But these shaadis are also special!

 |  3-minute read |   04-01-2019
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Not that I am a social butterfly and am deeply regretting missing out on so much fun — but yes, I am in an introspective mood.

The wedding was on January 1 in Surat.

wedding-card-1_010419010317.jpgBhoj for vote: But I am not judging them. Unlike many of us, they (if they are real) know what they want. (Photo: Twitter)

The invitation card mentioned in bold that the Jaisinghani family won’t receive gifts in cash or kind. 'Votes for Narendra Modi in 2019 Lok Sabha elections' were apparently the only gifts that they would be entertaining.

Well, technically, since I am not a voter in Modi’s constituency, I can’t vote for him. Poor jokes apart, I can vote for his party, but I can’t promise that and go eat shaadi ka bhoj.

A lot may happen between now and then. I can’t just give empty promises on the auspicious occasion of two hearts becoming one. Also, I want to make my stand clear: I am not at all judging them. I wished them happiness and success in all their endeavours, including this one.

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card_010419010625.jpgWell, full marks if you have found the perfect chemistry! (Photo: Twitter)

The last time I saw something similar was the day before my Physical Science examination during my Class 10 Board.

Technically, I never studied Chemistry as, on my Board, it was a part of Physical Science — not a separate subject. So, I was overwhelmed, because apparently, it was not even a wedding function — it was a ‘reaction’ between two Chemistry teachers who decided to be a ‘molecule’ — and my presence was the only ‘catalyst’ that they expected.

Seriously, was I expected to solve this puzzle? That diagram on the left side could have given me nightmares!

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horse-ovaries_010419011725.jpgExcuse me! (Photo: Instagram)

Asking guests to turn off their phones and cameras is, well, not new. But what’s the itinerary for 3.30 pm?

It can be an ‘unplugged wedding’, sure — but no, we don’t want to be associated with anything that sounds like 'horse ovaries' — not at 3.30 pm, or at any point in time.

It could have meant hors d’oeuvers (snacks before food, in French). But since it didn’t mean that, and clearly had something to do with ovaries (horses', that too), sorry, I couldn’t be there.

Hope I will be forgiven!

Also Read: Why the perfect wedding gift does not exist

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