What the Modi-sized mirror told Modi after Obama left
On the day Barack and Michelle Obama left India, an emotionally exhausted Narendra Modi decided to spend some quiet moments with his childhood crush and now his true love – a Modi-sized mirror in his favourite echo chamber. They had grown up together, spending countless hours in this very echo chamber where the mirror would silently hear Modi and the chamber repeating its agreement over and over again. Of course, the mirror stopped growing after a point. And Modi continues to grow. Modi did not want it to be larger than him. Theirs has always been a very complex relationship. The mirror was committed and obedient. It showed to Modi exactly what he wanted to see. It nodded in agreement, every time Modi nodded. And must grant this to Modi, he never tested his loyalty by nodding in disapproval.
Modi loved seeing the mirror. When he was in Gujarat, he would keep coming back to see him and seek his approval by the hour. He has become a busy man now. But even then, he makes it a point to keep returning to him several times in a day. The never-complaining mirror knows Modi loves him.
Even though these moments were meant to be quiet, the mirror knew Modi needed to talk and hear his own voice. He hated the chatter, unless it had his name in it. Last three days was a lot of meaningless chatter. Why did the Rashtrapati Bhavan secretariat not allow the BJP workers to chant "Modi", "Modi" at the President’s "At-Home"? Apart from making the evening meaningful, it would have sent such a strong message to POTUS. Rhymes so well with lotus, no? Diplomacy and politics are all about messaging.
An angry Modi had tears in his eyes. After all, he had started hugging Obama right from the airport and yet the fellow could not guess the brand of his perfume. What was the point of wearing DKNY’s Golden Delicious?
The entire world’s media noticed the Savile Row suit made by Holland & Sherry he wore with his name woven into the fabric thousand times over. And yet, not once did Barack address him by his full name Narendra Damodardas Modi. That over excitable Sushil Modi in Bihar was getting ambitious ideas every time Barack said Mr Modi. Rashtrapatiji should not get so touchy about ordinances to bring crucial reforms. Why shouldn’t there be an ordinance disallowing Sushil and Lalit from using Modi as their second name. After all, what have they done to deserve it?
Why are they all saying that Barack showed him the mirror in the Siri Fort auditorium? How did they know Barack had gifted him a mirror? Why did Barack give him a mirror? Questions. Questions. Questions. And Sujatha Singh had no answers. Shouldn’t the country’s foreign secretary know all this?
When Barack reaches Washington DC and opens the gift bag, he will find a dozen suit lengths with Narendra Damodardas Modi woven in them – all in different colours. He desperately needs a wardrobe makeover. Does he not get bored of those dark Hart Schaffner Marx suits and white shirts? Those neckties with just MODI written on them will look so good on him.
Imagining Barack’s expression while opening the gift packets brought a smile of satisfaction to Modi. The mirror felt better too. Modi’s life was a sad story. It was he who had fought and defeated the crocodile as a child and yet an entire fashion line bears the name of Lacoste and not that of Modi. Is there anything wrong in undoing the wrongs of this world? Why shouldn’t he dream of a world which only has high end Modi clothing, Modi footwear, Modi perfume, Modi leather goods, Modi watches, Modi eye wear, Modi this, Modi that, Modi everything. It is not a utopian thought. The world can become a better place to live in, someone has to dream big. He has the blue print ready.
Modi smiled again. The Smart City project was moving well. These three cities will just use the Modi line of products. How else will they become smart? He was quite happy to meet the CEO of the company which made mobile echo chambers. And the other guy who promised to install special lights which ensure that your shadow is always behind you and never ahead. The mirror could see his clever mind thinking away. Something will have to be done with all those statues of that fellow Gujarati, Mohan Das. Can they all be covered with the same Savile Row fabric? If only he had the sense to dress up well, India would have attained freedom much before it did. Who wants to negotiate with badly dressed people? Clothes give you confidence. Not once could Barack muster up the confidence of calling him by his first name, Narendra. And not once did Modi have to call him Mr Barack Obama. See the difference?
Meanwhile, Michelle too gave him a small gift. By the way, she didn’t give good vibes to Modi. So what if she was taller, she didn’t have to look down on him. He opened the gift. It was a music CD. He inserted it in the player. "The artist is living in the mirror, with echoes of himself… Even the greatest stars live their lives in the looking glass."
Jaishankar would have to be called to explain what the hidden message in this Kraftwerk number is.