Why it's time to turn to Zomato for love advice
What happens when artificial intelligence takes over? Well, if you haven’t figured it out yet, look around. Carefully, this time.
For starters, AI is going to stick to you. Not in a creepy way, just as if a true friend and a caring partner has been fused into one. It will listen to you, follow your every order and even make suggestions, tailor-made for you.
Soon, its smartness is going to hit you, and you’re going to start feeling incompetent, worthless even. Like that Hermione Granger-esque know-it-all friend you want to get rid of, but can’t.
Somewhere between this and the final point, you will lose track of what’s real and what’s not. You might think you’re hallucinating, but you’re not. One truly doesn’t know what’s real anymore.
As was the case with a Zomato customer, eagerly waiting for his food to arrive.
Just told @ZomatoIN that I won’t order again due to delay n the bot went all emotional !! pic.twitter.com/rIanS6GJnL
— Chandrasekhar (@chondhe) November 27, 2018
“Just told @ZomatoIN that I won’t order again due to delay n the bot went all emotional !!” wrote Chandrashekhar on Twitter, and shared images of his conversation with Zomato Chat.
An angry Chandrashekhar vented through his keyboard, perhaps not even expecting a response.
But when it came, it was better than any love advice you’d receive from your wellwishers.
“Every relationship has its ups and downs and we should work on the flaws of our relationships and that's what we are doing here for you so that your relationship will be more strong with us in the future,” read Zomato’s response.
If only all of my exes had had this crash course from Zomato!
It gets better.
"How do I say the words, "I'm sorry' when I know that words are not enough,” it went on. At this point, if you don’t have tears rolling down your cheeks and faces flashing before your eyes, you’re probably heartless! (Sniff!)
“I can completely understand what hunger means at this time.” Seriously, can my exes please install Zomato. Empathy, compassion and why hungry souls shouldn’t be provoked, guys, you seriously need to learn that from Zomato.
Of course, this was probably not their automated messaging system. But hey, can you really be sure that AI hasn’t been eavesdropping on your WhatsApp break-up texts? Perhaps that’s where it got the ‘ups and downs’ part and how it turned your life upside down.
This isn’t even the first time those guys at Zomato (bots?) engaged in pure camaraderie with their customers. Back in July, they were serving their food made in shuddh ghee and conversations in shuddh Hindi.
I really wasn't expecting the customer support guy at @ZomatoIN to play along with my shuddh hindi gig ???????????? pic.twitter.com/vORsCIW6Em
— Shadwal Srivastava (@Pareshaan_aatma) July 22, 2018
In August, they were giving out free extra toppings of house flies. To err is AI.
Hi @ZomatoIN Spot the extra topping. ???? pic.twitter.com/cG2zFmKBUy
— Bhagyashree (@Vellawanti) August 13, 2018
But November skies are overcast with love, clearly, otherwise, why would Janhvi Kapoor ditch Tinder for Zomato?
“I'm more likely to look for dating prospects on Zomato or something so I’d look for people who are going to the same restaurants as me and know what their food preferences are,” the Dhadak actor said on the sixth episode of Koffee With Karan.
Marketing money saved for the week. ????Thank you Janhvi Kapoor. pic.twitter.com/vRKOlbDem3
— Zomato India (@ZomatoIN) November 26, 2018
So, yeah, ditch all other dating apps and turn to Zomato — for your ideal match, for love advice, and for the one true love that will never leave your side — food!