If you have ever said to your friend that you are tired of dating, exhausted by this whole process of meeting someone new, having the same conversations of 'what is your favourite food/colour'... you are not alone.
Not everyone likes the idea of meeting a new person, let alone going out on a date. Dating apps have made the whole process of dating even more painful; from Hinge to Bumble to Tinder or Grindr. There are so many apps, and none of it helps ease the whole process of dating.
What we are talking about is Dating App Fatigue.
What is Dating App Fatigue?
'Dating App Fatigue' gained popularity this year, with many people now addressing previously unaddressed concerns regarding the many dating apps that they were on.
On the surface, using apps to find a date appears thrilling and engaging, but an increasing number of individuals are sharing their tiredness and mental burnout -- which is what dating app fatigue actually is.
Continually messaging strangers on a rotating basis, putting on your best performance, and failing to find someone you like is demoralising. It's easy to understand how dating might feel like yet another duty, rather than something ostensibly pleasant.
Not to mention, the dating process today and the Gen-Z buzzword ‘situationship’ - where you are never in a relationship or anything casual, leaving room for self-doubt and insecurity. Result? A mental hell hole.
Many people are using platforms like Reddit to express how tired they are with dating apps and why they uninstalled them:
I just deleted all of them [dating apps] myself. I think I'm just going to try and not worry about it for a while (which is tough, because i'm really lonely and have been for many years...)
- Due_Owl1553 on Reddit
I’d say that it’s hard to find someone who makes all the check marks and it’s about compromising, which goes both ways. But if you excuse my superficiality, I’d say some people perceived as incredibly attractive can be open to dating people on any league if you had the right personality and aren’t insecure about others hitting on them a lot.
- Kibbler618 on Reddit
I got fatigued on Tinder after 4 days and deleted it. I joined a meetup group, only been to one event so far but it was great. My big-picture plan is to rebuild my social life (it kinda dwindled as I got older - I'm 31 now) so that I naturally meet new people more often. I'll probably also get back on the apps down the line.
- anon_mg3 on Reddit
My mental health couldn’t take the ghosting, pervs, or terrible conversations anymore. After playing the reinstall-and-delete game for about 6 months, I deleted all of mine a few weeks ago and bought a book on embracing singlehood.
- HumanRacehorse on Reddit
There are ways to deal with Dating App Fatigue
Psychology Today explains the ways to tackle Dating App Fatigue.
- Get off the apps: It’s very simple; if you are tired of dating apps and it starts to feel like a task, take some time off. Don’t Rush. Get back on the app when you are ready.
- It takes time: Dating apps are designed by the algorithm of finding you someone with similar interests and likings, but that does not guarantee that you will find your perfect match within no time. You need to remember that finding your perfect match and just a match takes time. So, if you are expecting that you will find a match like the ones you do in Bollywood, you will be disappointed.
- Don’t take things too personally: If things don’t work out for you and your potential match and he/she/they ghost you, don’t take it too personally. It is no reflection of you or your worth; it simply means that the person does not think that you too are a match, which is quite normal in dating apps.
- Know what you want: Your dating process gets very simple and you are fatigued a little less when you know what you want from these dating apps. So, it means not only the kind of relationship; but also what you want in your partner. More importantly, what you do not want, ie., your non-negotiables.
- Date yourself first: Remember Kshama Bindu, the 24-year-old from Delhi who married herself? Well, if she can marry herself, you can at least take yourself out on dates? Basically, be gentle on yourself.