I thought getting Trauma Bangs like Emily from Emily in Paris would fix everything in my life but it did not
Getting bangs may signify a change or a sort of transition like moving on. Illustration: Seemon/dailyO
About a month ago, long before Season 3 of Emily in Paris (you know, that series on Netflix which will never be cancelled) was released, I was going through 'something' and wanted a change in my life, and when I say change, I mean something dramatic.
So, I checked all the boxes of becoming my version of the 'It Girl' and did a couple of things.
Out of those ‘things’, some of them were:
- going to the gym (more-so-than-ever),
- dying my hair; and
- the final step of all: getting my bangs.
The idea of bangs never fancied me since it would bring back the childhood trauma of my mom cutting my bangs, just before our family trip, a little too short (it was a disaster, I had wavy hair so you can imagine). But I felt this time would be different because my friend had hyped me up enough and claimed to be an expert (she was not, and I discovered it later).
“Let’s get you bangs,” exclaimed my friend, scissors in her hand as she was dying my hair.
"Have you ever done this before?" I asked her, and she narrated how she gave her mom 'the haircut of her dreams'.
So, without further questions, and hoping for a change, I nodded a yes to bangs.
After two hours of cursing and screaming, I ended up with uneven fringe bangs that my friend assured me looked really good on me.
But it was only a few weeks ago when I was binge-watching Emily in Paris Season 3 that the knowledge dawned on me: what I did with my hair actually had a term: Trauma Bangs.
So, what exactly are Trauma Bangs?
Cutting one’s hair to bring that change in your life is not new. Remember Mill on the Floss by George Eliot, where the heroine, Maggie Tulliver, chops her long hair off to mark a 'change' in her life?
Then there is apna Bollywood, where women in movies from Aisha to Sanam Teri Kasam, or classic feminist series like Fleabag, chop their hair off (or get rid of their glasses for contact lenses) to get that ‘change’ and become a different version of herself.
However, when we are say Trauma Bangs, it all started with Episode 1 of Emily in Paris Season 3. Emily Cooper (Lily Collins), takes things (a pair of scissors) into her own hands and gives herself bangs while dealing with a particularly difficult moment in her professional life.
“Emily, no!” her best friend and roommate Mindy (Ashley Park) screams in desperation, but it’s too late. Emily has already cut what Mindy jokingly dubs “trauma bangs”.
Since then, the Trauma Bangs have gone viral. According to The New Yorker, the hashtag #traumabangs had 2.1 million views on Tik Tok.
Spoiler alert: IT IS NEVER THAT EASY... MEMES AND MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY. Besides, Emily had an army of hairdressers at her disposal unlike me, with my friend, scissors in hand...
Why do we get Trauma Bangs?
Divisha Singh, a counselling psychologist and sex educator from Bangalore spoke to DailyO on why we take scissors in our own hands or in my case (give it to my friend).
She adds that it generally does not have to be just bangs: "It could be any physical change - a different hair colour, a different hairstyle, a dressing style, or any other change in outlook signifies some sort of change on an emotional level - it could be related to moving on (trying to do so), making a change to start afresh or simply an attempt to do something to get rid of some sort painful memories."
She further explains that, it may be important because it gives us, specifically, people who identify as women, a sense of change or readiness for change and that brings a sense of control in them, which may have been lost in that person's life due to some distressing event, like a breakup, divorce, losing someone, etc.
Bottomline: So, getting bangs definitely did not give me the change I wanted in my life like Emily (no, I didn’t got any Gabriel or Alfie back in my life) but surely did feel like a change.
(brb, need to go look in the mirror to fix my bangs again!)