Why are men such suckers for sex?

If I had to describe myself with some known adjectives, "feminist" would definitely make it to the list. Dismayed as we all are with the state of women in the world, the murmurings of men are now beginning to become worrisome. Sentences spoken by men range from "men are bastards" to "men are dogs" (I mean why label the sweet seasonally mating canines?) and the worst of all "men are naturally lead by their libidos". And these statements are often said with a tone of underlying pride. It's like the entire male identity is sitting on the tenuous fulcrum of virility. These statements raise some questions about what is emancipation? What is empowerment? And what is really enslaving us?

Feminism is a movement for equality. What it has done over the years is reach to the ears of most women as the message of dignity and equality for all. However, the language was and is largely created by and addressed to women. The result is that most women no matter how "un-empowered" a woman is, she is aware when her body is being used and abused both publicly and personally. We know that objectification feels wrong, that the inequality in the way sexual behaviour is judged between women and men is skewed. Many decide to put up with the tilted stereotypes for various societal/financial reasons and may even perpetrate them as a way of aligning themselves with the system but they are aware, the conversation has at least begun.

The story in the world of the masculine reads somewhat differently. For decades now, the majority of societal communication has told men that they are suckers for sex. That somehow their libido is something they cannot control. And that being sexually over-expressive is some sort of medal of masculinity. To quote the banned AIB roast, something said in jest by Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor says it all "You can judge us all you want, and hate on us, and shit on us, and call us all kinds of names but we'll be absolutely fine, you know why? Unlike this bunch of losers, we have the option of having sex with whoever we want". Consequent to this notion of men and their sexuality is the idea of entitlement. Men have been led to believe that they "need" sex. Placing it up there with life necessities and therefore adding the element of entitlement to have sex.

This way of thinking may not have been challenged so far but in the age of choice making, maybe it's time to switch vantage points. Could it be that this whole sexual virility, masculinity parade is actually the Trojan horse that sheaths within it some other teaming interests? That the great "freedom" accorded to men is now the very ball and chain that ties them to material consumption? Everywhere one looks images of women and sex surround us. Every minute near sexual fulfilment is promised through every conceivable product. Men's "uncontrollable libidos" are now being sold back to them. They are being sold their own satisfaction. Which is an oxymoron because the satisfaction will not come, mostly because it is a goal-shifting mirage created to cause dissatisfaction. And as we all know dissatisfaction leads to consumption and when consumption is not possible then it leads to frustration. This frustration can then covert to anger against those that are holding out this satisfaction. And it is here that women become the target for men's ire, confusion and frustration.

What we need expressly is the liberation of men from a thought process that guises enslavement in the suit of freedom. And so perhaps it is time for men to see themselves are beings that are in control of themselves, who are equal to women in being in charge of their own sexual behaviour. And in the end to claim back their dignity and status as being equal to women.