5 ways to prepare for a Donald Trump US presidency

Angshukanta Chakraborty
Angshukanta ChakrabortyNov 09, 2016 | 09:57

5 ways to prepare for a Donald Trump US presidency

Hello Earthlings!

Welcome to the new dystopia. The so-called "leader of the free world" may just be that orange-mopped sexual assaulter, racist, tax-defaulting bumbling billionaire. So are you gearing up for the whole world to turn into a giant casino?

Here are 5 things you can do:

1. You can shut your door to any newcomer, anyone who lands in America, or your neighbourhood, your office. Because walls are in. Bridges are out. Oh and you can charge the shunted out chap for bloody hell keeping him out.


2. You can do the "locker room talk" out in the open. Yes, go grab them by the pus*y, brag about sexual assault, claim your rape fantasies, make it cool to be a misogynist once again. Women - white or black or brown - they just have to take it.

Doesn't it sound like heaven? (Photo credit: AP) 

3. Demote all the women colleagues in your office, especially in the boardroom. If as a country you can elect a man who cannot utter a coherent sentence over the woman who is perhaps the most competent candidate ever in the history of US presidential elections, then why have the farce of respecting and rewarding women at all when you don't.

4. Prepare for the end of the American century. Yes, fortunately or unfortunately, Donald Trump is the sound of your Pax Americana crashing and crumbling, don't you hear the drum rolls? Hillary, for the want of a better word, is an "imperial feminist", she signifies American Empire to the last letter. For Trump, of course, NATO is the enemy. Only for now obviously, but still.

5. What about the jobs? Given that the new First Lady may just be a Slovenian American who worked illegally in the US for a while, expect all immigrants to suffer immensely. Why? Because, contradiction is the new cool, inconsistency is the new grit. Deportations will characterise the years to come. America will be white, trashy and will be given that substantial push towards a civil war, naturally. Guns will be everywhere; more blacks will be killed by the police state; Asians will be openly discriminated against; even those Hindu Republican Coalition honchos will feel the pinch.


Doesn't it sound like heaven? Hell, yeah.

Last updated: November 09, 2016 | 10:13
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