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Lutyens' gossip girls and boys

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Asmita Bakshi
Asmita BakshiOct 26, 2014 | 21:11

Lutyens' gossip girls and boys

Indian Parliament Building

Sitting on a ledge in the dilapidated terrace of my college in Delhi University, with perhaps the only thing that's well put together in that building - a cup of chai - and a friend, we began to gossip. If you ever attend this college, you'll know there isn't much to talk about regarding the goings on within the institution (except maybe the fact that we've been derecognised by the Bar Council, that comes up every now and then). And so, the conversation went something like this… "I know the guy who manages Modi's Twitter account and social media and stuff."

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"Really?"

"Yup, he's very quiet and doesn't talk about it at all. But do you know, he's been given a DE-2 flat? A random social media guy gets a DE-2 flat?! Wtf? There's a story there." 

Another time, a friend told me over the phone about some people who came over for dinner one evening and were discussing Modi and the media.

"A person from the media went to Amit Shah with an article he wrote praising him and he (Shah) basically ridiculed him in front of everyone and asked him to leave."

 This is Lutyens Gossip. These rumours from the political circles in Delhi are available sporadically, and are largely unverified, unverifiable and possibly untrue. But then isn't that the magic of gossip? While we seem to be okay to offend people from Bollywood and television, the hallowed world of politics is quite another ball game (also, circling and pointing an arrow at a politician's cleavage wouldn't nearly be as much fun as doing it to a poor unsuspecting leading lady in film). 

The whispers and secrets within the durbars in Lutyens' Delhi need to come together in a tabloid waiting to happen, but no one seems to have the courage to do it. And with the Modi government avoiding the media like the plague, and no more dramatic media stunts like tearing up of ordinances for the world to see, there's enough hearsay going on in speculative cover stories and first page news anyway. 

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However, some brave souls (who likely haven't read section 66 of the IT Act, or the way in which the supporters of either side use it to toss you in prison) have created Twitter handles which spew news at us about the inner functioning of Lutyens drawing rooms, the invitation to which is not extended to the media since the UPA 2 went out of power. (All former friends of which are still trying to remain relevant by outing this gossip in various books and memoirs which have conveniently been published post elections. I mean thanks for the information that will now impact my vote …retrospectively.) 

So there's, Lutyens Spice (one that, it seems, began the trend) tells us about how the Home Minister isn't respected by Modi or Shah. (Please. Tell us something we don't know). Or more recently, the account revealed how Shah isn't number two in the Modi government, but it is in fact, Ajit Doval. Yawn. 

Fortunately, when something is perceived to be against the Modi government (even if it isn't, or is in jest), there is retaliation. Enter Lutyens Masala ("Retired right wing hack who now operates from a Lutyens' living room"). Unfortunately, this one is equally boring. These accounts could really take a leaf from the troll handbook - those guys throw provocative praise and insult, with no basis is fact, and it has far more flavour than any of these durbari doyens who openly promise spice and seasoning in their handles. Joining the club are BJPSpice, Lutyens Insider, Lutyens Report and everyone else on the timeline who thinks it's funny to prefix Lutyens against their names for no reason at all. 

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Though the one that is truly entertaining is Boring Lutyens Gossip. "One Axis Bank Debit Card has been found by the road outside North Block. It is past its expiry date and so it will be disposed." In 140 characters, it repeatedly smacks all the other accounts full in the face. 

So for now, as reporters scramble to let people know which of them got selfies and handshakes from Modi's media interaction on Saturday, as gossip mongers tweet (mostly) politically correct snooze-inducing Lutyens rumours, I'll wait for my next engaging night of drinks at a Khan Market bar, where, in an inconspicuous corner, I can hear what it is that makes Amit Shah a corrupt link between industrialists and the CBI. And though these nuggets of "news" may or may not be true, at least it's hearsay that has an actual smack of spice and masala.  

Disclaimer: The anecdotes quoted in this piece are all hearsay. Not claiming authenticity, credibility, truth in any. Only masala, of the poor old Edwin Lutyens persuasion.     

Last updated: October 26, 2014 | 21:11
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