Open letter to Lata tai and Sachin bhai

THE CYNICMay 31, 2016 | 14:05

Open letter to Lata tai and Sachin bhai

Dear Lata tai and Sachin bhai,

I hope you won't mind me addressing the two of you in such familiar terms. I am only sticking to established norms of culturally acceptable salutations in Mera (and apka) Bharat Mahan.

Lata tai, you are much older than me - even if 5,000 years was an obvious exaggeration - and Sachin Bhai, you are younger than me, but both of you are much much bigger than me. So I am sure, the country's gems that you are, you will not be too upset with my audacity of openly writing to you.


Coming to the point of writing to your honourable selves, it is my humble suggestion that you should not let someone like this Tanmay "Sh*t", if you will pardon my language, get your goat.

Who is he - a fat person with a thick sense of humour? Why should the two of you, the proven greats that you are, be upset with what this motormouth has to say? Does it take away your Bharat Ratnas, or does it negate your lifelong achievements?

Who is Tanmay Bhat- a fat person with a thick sense of humour?

So, when your records speak for yourselves, why do you let hoodlums and political goons speak for you?

I am sure neither of you called up Raj saheb to tell him to take up your cause. Then, why let the MNS set the standards for your honour and respect? Personally, most of the time, I, too, find Tanmay Sh*t's jokes crass, but, I am also sure that my calling him sh*t does not make him excreta, and he knows that too.

My belief is that if a simpleton and a nobody, like me, can differentiate between crap and the real thing, you, Lata Tai and Sachin Bhai, would also be adept at knowing what is stool in medical terms and what is disrespect.


Don't let the likes of MNS drag your good names through mud while trying to protect your honour.

More people must have searched for Tanmay Sh*t's sh*tty video after the MNS and Mumbai Police made a big brouhaha about how that fat joker made fun of you. I think you should go to the police and ask them to get back to doing real policing because I am sure there are more worthy cases for them to follow up - like who is physically killing whom, and such stuff.

Lata tai and Sachin bhai, your honour lies safe with your countrymen and women, and no amount of cheap jokes will lessen our admiration for the two of you.

Look at that old Queen of United Kingdom - how they joke about her on TV, in films, in books, on the internet, and even on the streets right in front of her big house. But they love her too and would not think of seeing her saddened by the "funny" expression of their love.

Pandit Jawahar Lal Nehru used to be very curious about cartoonist RK Laxman's next cartoon making fun of him. These are, and you are, great people who lowly beings think about all the time. Tanmay Sh*t does not joke about me because I don't exist and my honour is non-existent. He, and other jokers like him, joke about you because you are worth cracking a joke about.


So my humble plea to you two, tai and bhai, please don't let small-minded, weak-hearted, big muscled, petty persons shout obscenities in your names and try to hold up the country's discourse by debating how much of your honour has been lost. Your honour is not so fickle that it can be eroded by some joker.

I think the two of you should give out a statement saying that the two of you are big enough and secure enough to stand for free speech even when you are the butt of crass jokes.

A Bharat Ratna does not need petty politicians defending their honour, and a Bharat Ratna does not fear the cheap jokes of an obese and obscene prankster. That would show them how truly great a Bharat Ratna can be. 

The question is - are the two of you great enough in your own eyes to accept a joke as a joke? I think you are, and the time has come to show your greatness.

Last updated: May 31, 2016 | 15:00
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