Praise the Rohtak sisters for breaking the silence, not bravery

In the wake of the video showing two sisters physically fighting off sexual predators in a bus that started from Rohtak bus stand, there has been unprecedented interest in the case. The clip has gone viral, TV has become enamoured, interviewing the girls constantly, and even the new chief minister of Haryana ML Khattar - who is on record previously for putting the onus of women's safely on women - "If a girl is dressed decently, a boy will not look at her in the wrong way" - has been moved to announce a bravery award for the girls on Republic Day. Social commentators, too, are in on the act - while many have rightly pointed out the hypocrisy in those with narrow views on women's rights now feting the young girls who went against their advise - this includes the current NCW chief Lalitha Kumaramangalam, also on record to say that "very aggressive girls" should take it easy as "society is very gender biased" - others have expressed caution at the OTT felicitations, on the lines of the "braveheart" tag.

In a sharp piece, editor of the website @thenewsminute Chitra Subramaniam rightly points out that we must "stop patronising this braveheart nonsense". Drawing a parallel with other victims of sexual crime and the 16/12 victim, also given the tag, she advises caution against the bravery label, writing: "unless we believe that in India today going to school and travelling by bus is an act of bravery. If that is the case, our problems are far deeper than we think."

This is especially true in the case of the Rohtak girls where fellow passengers, who smirked or simply looked on, have not been given any coward awards or punished in any way. By holding the Rohtak girls up as a example of bravery, we may further be strengthening the regressive mindset that women themselves must be responsible for their own safety, and anyone who can't find it in themselves to show the presence of mind and physical bravery of the Rohtak girls, are somehow falling short of standards.

While these notes of caution must be taken seriously, the manner in which the Rohtak girls tackled their intimidators is still worthy of adulation: if only simply because it is so rare a sight.

The Rohtak girls were in a public place, which makes them somewhat "safer" than in an isolated spot. They showed great presence of mind by deciding to take matters into their own hands, even asking a lady on the bus to take a video if the situation continued (which, thankfully, the lady did).

Before they showed physical courage by actually taking off their belts and giving the harassers a lashing, they showed tremendous mental and emotional courage.

While often crimes against women happen in circumstances of isolation and deserted areas, where the victims cannot fight back in any way, a lot of crimes like street harassment, every day gender harassment, or even "putting down" of women in other public spheres, a subtle form of harassment that is part of the patriarchal culture, is often tolerated by women.

As a gender, whether in cities or small towns, women are used to sitting back and watching as men take on men on their behalf in the cases of such public harassment - like Arnab Goswami on news hour battling Abhijit Mukherjee of the "dented painted" fame, or taking on Pramod Muthalik whose loony fringe outfit backed the Mangalore pub attack on women for dressing "provocatively."

Or else, we are used to the victim narrative in daily lives - women move on from the harassment, perhaps grading it - "you choose your battles, can't fight everyone" is the quick mental math justification many of us do in our heads, or perhaps just displaying, despite our education and our supposed emancipation, residues of the self shame associated with sexual or gender attack - why not keep one's "dignity" rather than make an issue of things.

Even on social media, it is commonplace to find well-meaning well wishers, both men and women, advise women battling vicious sexist trolls, to not engage "why come down to the level of their dirtiness" is the explanation offered. The bottom line: silence is in your best interest.

It is these little acts of "tolerance" of sexual abuse and discrimination that add up and go a long way in making patriarchy the evil monster it is that we are unable to beat back.

The manner in which the Rohtak girls took on their attackers, fighting them both verbally and physically, word for word, insult for insult, and blow for blow, shows that they felt none of these self-imposed, wrongly placed inhibitions. They showed us that any random attack on our body or mind unleashed simply on account of our gender is an unjustified attack, an offence against our being, and they fought it back with the instinct of warriors who will not tolerate injustice.

This then, is why the video went viral and the Rohtak girls Pooja and Aarti deserve to be held up as an inspiration to us all. Dignity lies in fighting back and not keeping quiet, is the message from Rohtak.