5 things we want off the headlines. Trupti Desai is no. 1

1. Trupti Desai

This serial pilgrim has been fighting for women’s right to enter the last few places of worship they are barred from. She calls it women’s right to pray at places of their choice. As if women don’t pray enough already. Women have far more serious issues and obstacles in the way of gender equality than worshipping dead people in their graves and pouring mustard oil on rocks sticky with mustard oil.

Desai has made no difference to the status of women in this country except dragging them into regressive religiosity, which by the way endorses and nourishes patriarchy that is responsible for the condemnation of women as second-class citizens. She needs to find a worthwhile movement to lead instead of the Bhumata Brigade. Politicians, people and the media need to tell her to get off the high platform. She’s not helping women, she is helping herself.

2. Jungle Raj

Every time there’s a murder in Bihar on a slow news day, myriad malevolent media mavens pop on prime time TV windows and cry "Jungle Raj". Well, here’s some breaking news. It’s been a jungle out there for a really long time. Read some history. A 19th century advisory by occupying gora fellows warning fellow goras of dire consequences between Benaras and Farakka, even before the state of Bihar came into being.

Come to think of it, various parts of the country slip into Jungle Raj once in a while. Haryana was worse for over a week this year. Western Uttar Pradesh is probably worse all the time. So is middle and eastern Uttar Pradesh. Bihar is like that most of the time. The brief break during Nitish Kumar’s previous avatar was just a lull because Nitish had lulled you to sleep. If you live in this country, you got to take a chance. If you live in Bihar, you do the same. Period.

3. This and that sena

Sena is Hindi for army. We have many senas, political, apolitical and in between the two. Four people get together and call themselves a sena just to spook you and hoodwink the authorities. There is a Hindu Sena that wants a Christian fundamentalist Donald Trump to teach Muslims a lesson. There is another Hindu sena that wants to teach Christian evangelists a lesson.

There are Muslim senas too but they would rather not call themselves a sena because sena is too Sanskrit for the fundamentalist Muslim.

Within Hindus there are caste senas. They do nothing but protest one thing or the other. Since political parties cannot overtly lead violent demonstrations, they have their own senas that indulge in little arson and vandalism. If it gets too much, politicians can easily distance from them. These senas perform for the media while politicians hold the strings. It’s time to ignore their havans and hold-ups. Because we need and want just one sena: the Indian Army. The other senas are crooks suffixing the word to sound important.

4. Sadhu/sadhvis

These creatures believe a robe and funny headgear are all that it takes to become saints. They appear on TV during debates on religion as if they were experts. They are very territorial and often get into verbal spats with someone from their kind. Once a sadhvi slapped a sadhu on live TV. That was fun. Actually, they are a lot of fun to watch because they can utter the most unbelievable inanities with the utmost seriousness and calm.

Some of them are politicians and even lawmakers. Some are nothing at all, like Sadhvi Prachi. But they know the art of controversial nonsense that plays as a bite on TV. They take the focus away from what the politician is doing to what the politician is saying. We get caught up in what they are saying while they get away with it. Tell them to get out of news channels and move to where they belong: religious or general entertainment channels.

5. Latur

Go to a library, check out newspapers from April and May last year or last to last year or maybe ten years ago. There are places in this country that face a severe water crisis for a couple of months every year. Media discovers the same crisis every year and goes into a tizzy. It wants the government, the chief minister, the powers that be in Mumbai and New Delhi to know and understand the plight of the ordinary citizen in these areas.

As if the people who rule us do not care about it! Latur has a functioning administration that sends regular reports/updates to their bosses in the Mantralaya. They know. Now let us come to an understanding. Are you serious? If they understood, Latur wouldn’t be on the front page year after year. They know but they do not understand. They are too busy stopping legal dance bars from operating. Water crisis will get worse as our little blue planet warms. So, let Latur make news when it has water. Because man bites a dog is news. Dog bites a man isn’t.