Uber rape case: Not the India I thought I knew

The Uber rape case has provoked a flurry of protests and commentaries. It's an urban nightmare that hits very close to home for many working women. That woman could have been me. I am just back in India and entrusting my safety to car services. And yes, I’ve used Uber. So, Delhi disappoints again. The barbarians are at the gate. I am confused and the battle fatigued from the discussions - the blaming, the shaming - haven’t we been through this before?

What is going on?

So I grieve, quietly, for a while. This is not the India I thought I knew. How did I miss this heart of darkness? Do I really need to add to the chorus of voices? Do I really need a seat at the Colosseum, however sympathetic the audience might be. Because while we comment - myself included - from the comfortable confines of our drawing rooms and private clubs and restaurants, another woman is raped. Or two or three depending on the length of discussion.

A crisis of the stature of say, the Nirbhaya rape case, is meant to shock us into a new way of seeing. Its meant to rattle and launch you into discomfort because let’s face it, change has never come from a comfort zone.

It's meant to shake you to the core.

Because that’s where the problem lives.

In the marrow of the nation.

Why is the rapist without fear and the victim conditioned to accept life with it? Are incidents of rape are actually on the rise in India, or are more simply reported? And while many are choosing their soapboxes, I’m gazing at my hired driver sheparding me home after a long day shooting images for consumption by the public outside my window. Their faces are weary and pointed towards home, while a beggar spots my heavily made up face and approaches aggressively. Instead of flinching I lock eyes with him, our common humanity separated by social position, an accident of birth, and glass.

The glass is meant to protect me from the casual savagery of the street. From outside threats. From lecherous looks and grasping hands. From the nuisance of dust and noise and a beggar with a hard face and soft eyes.

But of course, the enemy is within.

At least it was for the young professional executive who booked an online cab to take her home and then was raped for the "misleaded" notion that a woman can independently negotiate public space, in Delhi.

When the barbarians are not at the gate, and the assault on our woman is not from outside our borders but in our homes, our cars, our kitchens, our trains and buses, well, there’s no disgrace in not having all the answers. I’m suspicious of easy answers.

This is a disease, a deep and insidious betrayal that threatens the health of the nation.

A cancer, you could say.

A disease I know something about.

In cancer, there are no outside invaders. The enemy is in our own cells, which alter enough to become malignant but not enough to elicit an immune reaction from the body, which is the first line of defense.

There are two different ways of treating cancer. Chemotherapy uses chemical substances to destroy cancer cells within the body, but healthy cells are also affected. Chemo doesn’t discriminate the good from the bad.

Another approach is in the emerging field of immunotherapy, where the body’s innate powers of the immune system are harnessed to treat cancer.

One destroys both the good and bad, one boosts what is already naturally good to do the job of defending against the bad.

I can’t help, but find the similarities. I don’t want to get into a debate whether banning Uber is a "chemo" or "immuno" based reaction. But if we suspend our anguished reactions, just for a moment, in order to try to find ways of supporting what is good, humane, and supportive of women everyday and even in little ways, starting with what we teach our boys, well, it will take time, but so has overthrowing apartheid and colonialism.

India needs a "ctrl-apple-reset". A fresh infusion of stem cells, an assisted clean-up from the core of our society and belief system. The fear and anger has to be transformed into a new way of seeing; both the present crisis of women’s safety and status and in how we seek solutions.