Booker Prize winner Marlon James just landed in India and is already pissed

So I jump in this jeep because domestic flights are at a different airport than international. No problem, lets get in the jeep.

But at the airport they won't let me in because it seems I don't have a ticket. No problem, I'll just walk to the airport ticketing people, pull out my laptop and scroll through emails until I find proof that yes, despite you having my f*****g name and me having my f*****g ID and visa, you still need proof I have a seat on this flight.

But wouldn't you know it, domestic flights have a totally different weight standard than local and my hand luggage is suddenly too heavy by 8kg. But hey, he'll only charge me for the overweight.

Hold on, what's that, officer? You need to see ID? Sure thing, take it and go whisper something to the guy checking me in. Oh wait? The bags aren't going to the plane? They haven't been security checked?

You know what, whatever you f*****g need dude, let's go, scan it for bomb materials, scan it for weed, hell, scan it for peppermint tea.

Oh I can go back to baggage drop? Sweet. Oh wait, checkin-chick, it's now overweight 12kg? Just like that it went up by 4?

You know what, take my credit card. Oh you don't accept payments? I need to go over by that corner? Boo, I'm always down for an adventure. 38 bucks? Sounds like a deal to me.

Yes I'm wearing a belt. Yes, jeans have metal on them. No I'm not even the slightest bit pissed that I've been awake now for 27 hours and I just want to make this raasclaat flight that this other flight person made sure to tell me that though I don't have a reclining seat, he'll gladly upgrade me for some 1000 figure I forgot.

Dude I just want to board my f*****g flight. Oh it's delayed, you say? Nice first impression, India.

(This first appeared on the writer's Facebook page.)