Why people are calling Milind Soman creepy for dating a younger woman
Marathon runner, actor, model, "sexiest man in India", besides other things, Milind Soman has found a new descriptor on social media: creep.
The 52-year-old, who recently celebrated his birthday, is now in the news for his dating habits. A Free Press Journal article titled “50 plus, and Milind Soman’s living it up, with 18-year-old girlfriend Ankita Konwar” has triggered an uproar.
According to the article, Ankita Konwar, Soman’s partner is only 18, an air hostess, and like her partner, a marathon runner.
On Twitter, many have come forward to say how egregious they find the relationship.
Amitabh Bachchan & Tabu were “Ageless Wonder” in Cheeni Kum bc she wasn’t a teenager, she was a mature woman. This is disgusting. https://t.co/Aq4g184kE3
— Kalyani Adhav???? (@KalyaniAdhav) November 6, 2017
50 y/o man/woman dating someone in their teens is just plain wrong on so many levels. Take Milind Soman out of this & think normally.
— Kalyani Adhav???? (@KalyaniAdhav) November 6, 2017
Yuck. https://t.co/Fbvvhflvuv
— BookOfGenesia (@genesiaalves) November 6, 2017
I’m sorry but he’s a pedo in my eyes https://t.co/rkNsyfiw5p
— Camtono (@gsforever222) November 6, 2017
How do good looks offset borderline cradle snatching? https://t.co/J4DnGRSd8A
— KR$NA (@realkrsna) November 5, 2017
LITERALLY ALL YOUR HEROES ARE PIECES OF SHIT https://t.co/slGRwMD3Wq
— spn (@sapunintended) November 5, 2017
Of course, the “facts”, as reported in the FPJ article, may not be all that accurate.
Most reports about Soman and Konwar, however, do make the point that the age difference is huge, but few actually mention her actual age.
While an NDTV Khabar report says she is 18, a GQ piece claims she's 23. And even though the validity of either reports cannot be ascertained; oddly enough, in an interview with a website called BollywoodShaadis.com, Soman said that she and Milind have been in a relationship for four years, when asked about their plans to tie the knot.
Some people argue that since Konwar is a consenting adult, she has the right to be in the relationship of her choice. The fact that one finds it morally wrong for a 50-year-old to be in a relationship with an adult teenager is not only puritanical in nature, it also infantilises a grown-up woman capable of making her own choices.
Those arguments were outnumbered by many arguing about the imbalance of power in this relationship.
2) When you're an older man, regardless of fame but very much compounded by it, you have more power than a literal teenager.
— Naomi Barton (@naomi0_0barton) November 6, 2017
The laws for consent were passed not to give predators a Stop And Go mark around which 'jailbait' suddenly becomes 'up for grabs.'
— Naomi Barton (@naomi0_0barton) November 6, 2017
They were passed because most people reach sexual maturity around that time and would like to fool around with other people like them.
— Naomi Barton (@naomi0_0barton) November 6, 2017
old dudes with barely legal women is gross no matter how you want to spin it
— Mithila Phadke (@PhadkeTai) November 6, 2017
i honestly wonder about his motivations/thought process that make him look at an 18yo and find her okay to fuck. gross.
— Mithila Phadke (@PhadkeTai) November 6, 2017
That's not anyone's point to begin with. It's about ethics. Which isn't the same as what's legal and what's not.
— Shariq Rafeek (@_riqsha) November 6, 2017
Ethically, the logical conclusion to, "Don't treat her like a child," is a defense of predatory pedophilia using the child as an out.
— Shariq Rafeek (@_riqsha) November 6, 2017
No one is treating his significant other as a child or stripping her of her agency because no one is questioning her in the first place.
— Shariq Rafeek (@_riqsha) November 6, 2017
Age isn't a switch. Which is why legality being the basis of, "They're legally consenting adults, you're being sanctimonious," doesn't work!
— Shariq Rafeek (@_riqsha) November 6, 2017
This isn't about what's legal. People are sad that a 50 year old man isn't being careful with the life of an 18 year old that he likes.
— Shariq Rafeek (@_riqsha) November 6, 2017
Soman, on his part, as has been pointed out by many, displays a dating pattern as well: being with women much younger than him. Soman was previously married to Mylene Jampanoi, his French co-star in the film, Valley of Flowers from 2006 to 2009. She was 15 years younger to him. After that Soman was in a relationship with Shahana Goswami. The age gap between them was 21 years.
While Soman and Konwar’s relationship is definitely their own private business, the discussion around gender dynamics in a relationship, aided by age, fame and power-balance is one that should be had.