Why the girl who put poop in her purse broke the internet

She calls herself “misunderstood worm” on Twitter and often posts funny one-liners crammed into 140 characters. But @_blotty is now better known as the “poop girl”, ever since he narrated a peculiar story on, wait for it, her shit!

Before you get all grossed out, read the thread! We promise you won’t stop until you have read them all.

I have a story to tell. It is about my poop

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

So, yesterday I went on a date with a man who asked me out in the grocery store the other day. All was going well. I went back to his place

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I am a confident, calm and self assured woman...so I felt comfortable popping in his bathroom. This was a mistake. His toilet did not flush

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Properly. So, of course, like any calm, confident, self assured woman. I panicked. And flushed it a million times, making everything worse

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

By this point, I was really frantic because I had been in there for too long. There was only one single piece of poop. So in that moment

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Something came over me. And I knew exactly what I had to do. I got toilet paper and removed the one poop from the toilet. Once that was done

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I realized I didn't have a plan. What do I do with it now? I can't fucking leave it there. By this point I was REALLY freaking out because

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I'd DEFINITELY been in there too long. So, again, making another horrible decision. I did the only thing I could think to do. I wrapped it

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

In multiple layers of toilet paper, and put it in my purse

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Alright, so now what? We are sitting there on his couch and kissing and all I can think of is the piece of poop in my purse

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Him: you're so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had meMe: that's really sweet Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

At this point, I text my sister for advice pic.twitter.com/lMeX55iiH4

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

So, after a few hours he used the washroom and I heard it flush. I figured he fixed it. Maybe not, but I have to take the chance. I hAve to

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Try to flush the poop. So I brought my purse up to the washroom. Unwrapped the poop, prayed to every god I know, put it in and flushed

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

By the grace of God, it worked. The poo flushed. I was free. I was in the clear. Everything was going to be okay. I survived.I am a survivor

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

So that's my story. A man, sat there telling me I'm the most amazing woman he's ever met, not knowing, 10 feet away in my purse, was my poop

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

That I'd fished out of his toilet...

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

This is v embarrassing for me. But seriously: dont drink coffee before a date, its better to be sleepy than to have to hide poop in ur purse

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Naturally, Twitter is abuzz with (mostly) praises, which users dubbing @_blotty their “hero”, and an amazing, no-holds-barred storyteller.

w tf. @_blotty this is better storytelling than anything Hollywood has done since grandma's boy

— evan breen (@evan_breen) March 23, 2016

@minkahunter @_blotty thank u for being here in the wasteland that is twitter and thank u for this story blorpt

— didi (@priya_ebooks) March 22, 2016

@_blotty so, basically: well done. u survived. no burnt poop. no trace

— snidey montag (@hummusandpizza) March 22, 2016

@_blotty i don't know how many followers you'll gain from your poop tweets but i am honored to say you can count me as one of em.

— cm (@cm_handler) March 22, 2016

hey @_blotty pic.twitter.com/Qz5Zp4hG9j

— h○rny s◇d g○th (@femmepizza) March 22, 2016

@_blotty Wow. That's the greatest story of all time. ???? I once took a workout supplement and threw up in my purse but your story beats mine

— Nickilishious (@Nickilishious) March 22, 2016

What does the "poop girl" story tell us about ourselves? We just love a good story, even if it's hundred per cent shitty!   

@_blotty pic.twitter.com/ms6p2BFgiv

— Anthony (@butterwolf) March 22, 2016

Advice for men: the next time you have a pretty lady over, stay away from the freaking purse! There might be a whole lot of poopy attitude packed in there.