Why men need to speak up for women being sexually harassed
A little over four years ago, the #HeForShe movement started — the idea was that both men and women should take part in the movement towards equality. Since the conversation about the violence faced by women began, it has been thought of as 'a women’s problem'.
This approach suffers from several ills which include men and women beginning to think that the victim is responsible for her safety; that men never experience sexual violence either from other men or women; and that there is nothing men can do to prevent or reduce gender-based violence.
This is one of the concerns many people have raised about the #MeToo movement in India.
The movement began in Hollywood in 2017, bringing down Oscar-winning producer Harvey Weinstein. Ripples were felt in India too as a list of academics was released that accused many of sexual harassment. There was even a movement against the owner of a pub in Pune, but it fizzled out.
About a year later, Tanushree Dutta spoke out about her experience with Nana Patekar 10 years ago. She accused him of sexual harassment in 2008 and reached out to the producers and artists association', but was shut down. Dutta brought up these allegations again a few weeks ago during an interview. About a week later, social media was used to out Utsav Chakraborty, a comedian associated with All India Bakchod (AIB), and a day later, allegations were made against several prominent journalists.
There have been several people who have come out in support of the women who have spoken up. In Bollywood, most of these have been women. In fact, a lot of senior, well-respected male actors have either refused to comment or denied knowledge of the incident. Allegations of sexual assault and abuse are not new to the industry — the common trend in the past was to ignore or silence the victim. Even this time around, many people said that the women are looking for attention or publicity at the expense of their alleged abusers. As most of these victims and their supporters are women, it becomes easier for men to think of this as a movement against men. Activists who claim feminism is set to destroy values and target men are emboldened by the lack of male supporters.
This is also how many of them are able to play victim — in spite of being the abusers.
This mindset is also what many will use as an excuse to overlook or ignore allegations and accusations. The production house Phantom Films was recently dissolved as allegations against co-founder of the company, Vikas Bahl, were made public. Unfortunately, other members of the production house were aware of the charges against Bahl. The other owners, especially Anurag Kashyap, knew about the alleged incident but did nothing for almost two years.
The story is similar to the one involving actor Nana Patekar. People are more worried about what these allegations will do to the careers of the abuser.
Supporters of Patekar and Bahl have mentioned that these are brilliant men and will be made to pay with their careers over these allegations. They overlook the trauma — and the very real career damage — that the actual victims of the abuse go through, not just while the incident is taking place but for years later.
The social media platform, Twitter, was used by former and current journalists to disclose incidents of sexual assault and harassment they faced during the course of their work. Once again, these women are being called out. The common question many ask is — why did they not report these incidents to the police or to the sexual harassment committees or HR within their companies?
This reminds me of an incident that a friend narrated to me.
He was an employee at a media house with a female boss. The boss would constantly make him feel uncomfortable and make sexual advances towards him. Finally, fed up, he approached the HR department, only to be told that he might as well enjoy it as men don’t really get abused.
Similarly, a female colleague of mine was told that she might as well not approach anyone as her complaint would probably not be heard, her abuser was in a position of power and she was just a trainee.
This is where the #HeForShe comes in. Unless men start standing up with women to fight these injustices together, sexual harassment will continue to be thought of as an issue faced only by women.
Men have to stand up and start acknowledging that no one has the right to harass and abuse. Excuses like, “you were drinking too”, “why were you wearing that,” “he didn’t mean it, he was drunk” or “he was just trying his luck,” are simply not acceptable.
Drinking, in any case, has become part of the lives of most Indians in urban settings. Many people go out drinking with their colleagues. It is time men were held responsible for their behaviour — whether sober or drunk.