No, MP Udit Raj, #MeToo is not the 'beginning of a wrong practice'. It’s the end of impunity for men
Slut-shaming and discrediting survivors has gone on for too long. Now, time’s up.
As the #MeToo storm rages on, Delhi MP Udit Raj has become one of the few members of the governing party, the BJP, to speak on the issue. But what he has said will make you wish he had kept quiet instead.
In a series of statements that are equal parts bizarre and outrageous, Raj says “#MeToo is the beginning of a wrong practice” since there is "no point raking up old cases — such allegations can never be verified, but destroy a man’s reputation". He then says not all women can be trusted since they “ask for lifts in vehicles and extort money”, “honey-trap men”, and accuse them of rape “after years of live-in relationships”.
#MeTo??????? ????? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ?? 10 ??? ??? ??? ???? ?? ???? ????? ?? ???? ???? ?? ? ???? ????? ??? ??? ????? ?? ?????? ?? ???? ???? ?? ????????? ??????? ?? ???? ???? ??? ???? ????? ???? ??? ?? ????? ???? ?????? ???? ?? ????? ???? ??? ?????? ????? ?? ?????? ???#MeToo
— Dr. Udit Raj, MP (@Dr_Uditraj) October 9, 2018
Habitually women take 2-4 lakhs, level allegations on men&then pick another man. I accept it is in man’s nature. But are women perfect? Can it not be misused? A man’s life gets destroyed because of this: Udit Raj, BJP MP, on ‘Me Too’ movement. pic.twitter.com/QAFKJRZdpG
— ANI (@ANI) October 9, 2018
Discrediting survivors ✔.
Slut-shaming ✔.
The MP also points to the economic aspect of the business plan he seems to envision: “In a patriarchal society like ours, men have religious, political and financial clout. Already, men are scared of meeting women alone. This has begun to hurt job and business prospects”.
Veiled, almost innocuous, threatening ✔.
He concedes: “I agree this (sexual misconduct) is in men’s nature” but — “are women perfect?”
#MeToo ?? ????? ??? ??? ????? ???? ???????? ??? ????? ???? ?? ?????? ??? ???? ??? ????? ??? ???? ??????????? ???? pic.twitter.com/rY4WeIiqF7
— Dr. Udit Raj, MP (@Dr_Uditraj) October 9, 2018
Normalising rape culture ✔.
Unbelievable as the statements are, it is undeniable that they resonate with many men, and even women, in Indian society, especially as Raj has qualified them with, “I only wish to prevent misuse”, and the classic tokenism of “I believe men who actually exploit women should be shot”.
Along with Raj, many people believe that women are raking up old incidents to destroy good men’s good names, to settle scores, to gain hush money, to get publicity, or to get even after a relationship turned sour.
They are all wrong.
#MeToo has come to India after centuries of impunity enjoyed by men, and silent suffering by women. It has suddenly jolted many men to the realisation that they might actually be held accountable for their actions. Understandably, they are rattled.
But outright venom is easier to counter than the pernicious discrediting of a movement packaged as 'honest appeals' for fair play.
Raj’s first statement — “why bring up incidents after so many years” — answers his own question.
Speaking up against sexual harassment is not easy. The harasser can be a family member, a workplace senior, from a more powerful caste or class. Even when power equations are not at play, survivors who speak out face derision, slut-shaming, attempts to silence them, accusations of bringing dishonour to the family. It can indeed take years to build up the courage to speak out, or to put in place protective measures against your assaulter. The delay in reporting does not diminish the heinousness of the crime when it was committed.
Why not focus on the crime instead of how many years later it is being reported?
Raj is perhaps incapable of expressing such empathy, as shown by his "she was allegedly assaulted when barely an adult, remebered it after marriage, old age" comment on the woman who accused actor Jitendra of raping her. But the rest of us need not be.
Indeed, women and child development minister Maneka Gandhi recently said that the time limit for reporting sexual crimes should be extended. “You will always remember the person who did it, which is why we have written to the Law Ministry that complaints should be without any time limit…"You can now complain 10-15 years later, doesn't matter how much later," she said.
Perhaps she needs to have a word with her colleague.
Also, people in a live-in relationship, or in a marriage, don’t sign off their sexual autonomy to their partners. When the partners violate consent, it is rape, and they must be called out and face consequences.
The charge of “possible misuse” does not fly.
False allegations are made about every crime. Because someone might falsely accuse another of murder, should murders not be reported anymore?
Every law is open to misuse — law enforcement agencies exist precisely for the purpose of probing allegations for their veracity. A point Raj himself seemed to have understood very well when he tweeted about the SC/ST Atrocities Act: “Let’s accept for a moment that the Atrocities law is misused a few times, but then so is every law. Should we repeal them all?”
??? ??? ???? ??? SC/ST???? ?? ???-???? ??? ???????? ?? ??? ?? ?? ??? ??? ????? ????? ????? ??? ???????? ??? ??? ??,???? ?? ??????? ?? ???? ???? ?? ??? ???-????? ??? ??? ?? ?? ???? ??????/???? ?? ??? ?????? ?? ???? ??? ?? ????? ???? ????? ???? ???? ? ????? ? ?????? ??????? ??????
— Dr. Udit Raj, MP (@Dr_Uditraj) September 4, 2018
And if men are indeed scared of meeting women now — another sentiment Raj is not alone in feeling — maybe they really should stop interacting with women.
Let’s stop kidding ourselves that most men don’t know when they are crossing boundaries. They “take a chance” because they know they will get away with it. And if they are now having to wonder about what results their actions might have, welcome to the world of women, who doubt, cross-check, question their every action, in case they "sent the wrong signal” to a man.
Gender relations in India are evolving at an unprecedented pace, and as women push back against what has been the established order for centuries, questions about what is proper conduct are natural. The way to resolve it, and create a healthy world for both men and women, is through healthy conversations, introspection and debate.
Slut-shaming women who speak out, and threatening them with possibly losing out on jobs and other opportunities, is just the patriarchy kicking out.
The time for that, Mr Raj, is up.