That #UpMa couple

Supercouple nicknames have hit a new low with television duo Upen Patel and Karishma Tanna now being fondly referred to as #UpMa by fans. That either of them had fans is a revelation that brings other questions to mind, but this is no time to get existential. While Bolly has been crawling its way to cool tags, Telly land is a whole other universe of nicknames. So Abhi-Ash is meh thanks to the impossibility of any form of catchy combo, and thankfully nobody has chanced upon RanDee yet, while RanKat have been saved from BirIna or KatIr, even as Saifeena are stuck with what essentially sounds like a forsaken haveli in Dalhousie up for rent. But television has a whole consortium drawn from their on-screen jodis. So ZaYa, from Zain and Aaliya on Beintehaa, Raman and Ishita on Yeh Hai Mohabbatein go as IshRa, you have Ashlok off Iss Pyar Ko Kya Naam Doon, there's scrumptious PaYa with the mutton soup jodi of Aditya and Pankhudi in Pyar ka Dard... (insert any official postal address into title of serial here)... And the current favourite #NaRa, Pallavi Kulkarni (Ragini) and Ronit Roy (Nachiket) in Itna Karo Na Mujhe Pyar.

Bollywood would do well to take a note out of television's playbook if it's going to catch up. But it's probably time to lay down some ground rules here. First embody your on-screen couple, not your off-screen one, this also serves the double purpose of marketing your show. Second, it also shows team work, and if it is with a co-star you detest, extra marks. Third, date or marry your co-star as far as possible (not you Pallavi Kulkarni Nerurkar, hubby Mihir will hunt me down, all the rest of ya), so it sticks. It's hard to keep trading in nicknames, easier to get a new life partner. And fourth and most importantly, try to steer clear of food. While it can admittedly conjure up some yummy images if you are a KeBab or a ChoCoPie or a KulFI, an UpMa or PaYa just leaves you an oozing sticky mess that reminds most normal people of coagulated hostel food. In the Maggi crushing era we live in that leaves culinarily-challenged people with no options and much angst, this is best avoided.

#UpMa, you congeal me.