#TheDailyToast: How many CCTVs will it take, Kejriwal?

There is always a great agitation for CCTVs in this nation of too many peeping toms already. I mean, it’s not like you can get any privacy in these cheek-by-jowl skyscrapers and local trains, and endless traffic jams. But that is apparently not enough.

Not too recently, the Mumbai police got its khakhi chaddis in a twist about meetings held for CCTVs to which senior personnel were not invited. A whole bunch of people got transferred out here and there for not being watched and/or not being allowed to watch enough nefarious activities. I imagine these are the guys who watch those pirated movie channels with bouncing animated local advertisements on cable. Then they, all the police who should have had their eyes on the beat, spent a year with Excel sheets wondering where to get the funds to buy these CCTVs. The samosa bill alone would have equipped three wards. The sugar for the collective chai pushed Pawar’s fortunes up this year. And the police claimed that all custodial deaths were a direct result of no CCTV footage.

Delhi’s AAP is now brandishing their newly installed CCTVs in local transport buses as eyes to a whole new world. Which rogue pinched which standee’s wallet and who, exactly, spat on the third window to the left, which conductor never has change and statistical reports on why school kids carry such big bags, will all be a no brainer now. We will become a very aware society. Paranoid also maybe, but essentially aware. Which route the stalker took and why the police always arrive 25 minutes late, is now going to be made apparent. Which minister visited, which woman in a bar had one drink more than the men, and which bench in which park gets the most canoodling action. Yes, but these are all still post the crime. So what is the purpose of the CCTV but a collective hindsight, you ask?

I wanted to ask Arvind Kejriwal this but was deterred by the response of pharma boss Martin Shkreli to journalist John Carroll yesterday when asked why he had hiked the price of drug Daraprim by 5,000 per cent: "You are such a moron". For that someone has to actually watch the feed 24/7. Nab the stalker as she stalks. The slasher before he slashes. The pick pocket before he picks. The road rager before he rages. And the policeman before the custodial death. Right now, the budget only allows for the camera, no monitor. There is no need for someone at the other end until a body has been found.

Besides, what you are asking for is not CCTV footage, it is crime prevention.

That’s a whole other thing. Let’s see. We will ask for a provision in next year’s budget.