#TheDailyToast: The #NikkiHaleyCut

Gayatri Jayaraman
Gayatri JayaramanJan 13, 2016 | 10:56

#TheDailyToast: The #NikkiHaleyCut

The State of the Union, the Indian-American one, has never been in better fettle. In India-American potential vice-presidential nominee Nikki Haley, origin-loathing as Nimrata Randhawa's new name may be, America finds the balance between the bipolar swing from Obama to Trump.

Sure, she once listed her race as white and her teeth could be less yellow, and her face has gradually become less brown over the years, but hey, so has Kajol's and the SRK despite his greedily-wanting-more made quite a box-office killing off of it and Zuckerberg is trying to migrate to India - never mind that Silicon Valley is currently so brown that why does he need to - or at any rate is seeking entry into either Indian politics or the Bigg Boss house by the looks of it; so why not Nikki eh?

She's the only Republican who's managed to strike the right balance on the Charleston massacre to the Confederate flag and besides, only an Indian woman could get away with bashing Trump in the GOP response to the president's final SOTU address and count that as a win for the Republicans. America is still asking what just happened there, and mom-in-law has left you to do the dishes. This is the genetics of the mother's kitchen vaala meethi churi slid into political discourse: America, take notes.

Twitter would do well to upgrade the #sly tweet and the #subtweet to the #Haleycut. "The best thing we can do is to turn down the volume" is as much politeness in 'shut up and sit down and do as I tell you' Trump is ever going to get. That's called grace. And that's how the Indian woman does it. She invoked God, she invoked togetherness, (think matriarchal levels of national unity, "Main baahar se aayi hoon", "Ma" and "Hey bhagwan") and threw all the emotional what have you into the fire.

So you can lighten your skin, you can wear the business suit that Chanel invented for women and that has come to signify the professional politician everywhere in the West from Carla Bruni to Kate Middleton, (and you can weep quietly over your whitened portrait in your study Bobby Jindal) but the reason Nikki Haley can slice it and dice it and walk that middle line is because she has an Indian mother somewhere who taught her to walk the middle line with a knife to the back clutched in the palm of her hand.

Don't even try Trump. We got generations on you. Gah. Immigrants.

Last updated: January 13, 2016 | 11:36
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