Eight reasons we can't get enough of #SalmanVerdict

So finally we know. The #SalmanVerdict is in. Five years, of which he has already served 18 days. He will be Arthur Road Jail's most famous inmate. But it won't be the end of India's obsession with Salman Khan. We've been obsessed with Salman Khan since the day he burst into our consciousness with Maine Pyar Kiya 26 years ago, with his limpid eyes, disarming smile, and the ability to make sweaty truck driver type labour look good. Anyone who could make Bhagyashree look cool deserved a medal, to be displayed right up there on that iconic bomber jacket.

So why can't India get enough of #SalmanVerdict? And why has Bollywood become Bhaiwood? And why are members of the ruling party falling over each other to express their sorrow for justice being done? This is one story India cannot get enough of, because it's one of human frailty, of self inflicted suffering, of an individual's struggle with one's imperfections. Of Being Human in a culture which teaches you how to prepare for success but never how to deal with failure.

#1. There was never a controversy he didn't run full tilt into. In a world of Wannabe Perfects, he was always Mr Messed Up. Whether it was trouble with girlfriends, trouble with the underworld, or trouble with guns, Salman Khan had to do it all. So while his compatriots were busy being Mr Perfectionist (Aamir Khan) and the Poster Boy for New Age India (Shah Rukh Khan), Salman Khan was busy Being Human. Guns going off, check. Cars running amok, check. Fists flying, check. Inappropriate conversations being recorded, check. Phone threats being made, check, check, check - repeat that 49 times. Vivek Oberoi? Remember him?

#2. In a world of ugly people, he was pretty. Even before he bulked up and started removing his shirt, Salman, who's been modelling since he was 14, was pretty. India is more likely to hold you accountable if you are ugly.

#3. He was the ultimate family man. Apart from having two of everything as the joke goes (two mothers, two brothers, two sisters), the lifelong bachelor was the ultimate provider. Whether it is his sister's lavish wedding, a film for his brother in law to direct, one each for his brothers, modelling one sister in law's clothes, and giving another the item song of a lifetime (Munni badnaam) Salman was the Bhai who always took care of his own.

#4. He got all the girls. Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Katrina Kaif, Sangeeta Bijlani, Somy Ali. It usually ended in tears but not before it always seemed like the ultimate relationship.

#5. He was a rich man with a middle class life. Even as his contemporaries focused on making money and Mannat, Salman lived in a two bedroom flat in Galaxy Apartment in Bandra. He wore - and wears - high street labels (Diesel and Levis) and rides a bicycle. Even his ubiquitous bodyguard (a perk of power) is like a friend. He would hang out with his brothers while others hung out with businessmen, he partied at home, while others chose nightclubs.

#6. He's the ultimate Indian diversity cliché. His father is a Muslim, his mother is a Hindu, his stepmother is a Christian. He celebrates Ganesh Chaturthi as publcily as he celebrates Id. His family is like a United Colors of Benetton advertisement.

#7. He does Dad things. He dances like a Dad. He gets drunk like a Dad. He even talks like a Dad. At 50, it's appropriate.

#8. Yet he will always remain a little boy, often publicly reprimanded by his Dad. Who doesn't like to see a superstar taken down a peg or two, especially by a Dude with an Earring and a Gift for Writing Blockbuster Movies? Prison, which he has previously described as hell, will not be easy for Salman, nor will it be easy for his emotional father. But both are philosophical. Circumstances, and Salman's own actions, have made them so.