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Päntsdrunk: Why drinking alone at home, in one's underpants, is the path towards happiness

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Pathikrit Sanyal
Pathikrit SanyalJun 11, 2018 | 20:19

Päntsdrunk: Why drinking alone at home, in one's underpants, is the path towards happiness

In the early months of 2016, unemployment, and the lack of motivation to find any form of employment, had pushed me into a depressive state.

If British naturalist David Attenborough were to shoot a Planet Earth episode about me, he’d proclaim, “Observe this male who hasn’t left the confines of his room in an unnaturally airy Bandra apartment. He sits on a mattress because he can’t afford to buy a bed, thanks to exorbitant Bombay rents. The male hasn’t left this spot in weeks now, as he sits in a pair of boxer-shorts, nursing a plastic tumbler full of Old Monk mixed with lukewarm Thums Up, smoking the cheapest cigarettes one can imagine, staring vacantly into either a laptop screen or a phone screen. This particular male has abandoned all hope. Isn’t nature wonderful?”

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Wonderful or not, at that point, it was a conscious lifestyle choice — neither particularly healthy, nor taken too kindly by the world. My flatmates’ reaction to my drunken haze version of “Netflix and chill” (the “chill” here being a thoroughly non-sexual one) went from “concerned” to “disgusted” in a matter of days. If my mom were to find me in that state, she’d smack my head hard. Needless to say, no one would have endorsed my lifestyle as "enviable"; at least back then.

But it's 2018 and the world has gone topsy-turvy. When I did it, it was pathetic and my attitude "lackadaisical"; but — lo and behold — a few white people from Europe start doing it and suddenly it turns into a global trend and “a path to recovery and self-empowerment to help one face future challenges”?

Enter the Finnish phenomenon known as “kalsarikänni” or its Anglicised version "Päntsdrunk" — it literally means “the feeling when you are going to get drunk home alone in your underwear — with no intention of going out”.

What has fast-tracked the phenomenon in the mainstream is a Finnish journalist and author Miska Rantanen’s new book Päntsdrunk: Kalsarikänni: The Finnish Path to Relaxation, which has been billed as "an irreverent parody of popular 'happiness' books". Rantanen, in his book, writes: “The Päntsdrunk method also includes bingeing on Netflix, scrolling mindlessly on your phone, sweet and salty snacks, sofa time, and blocking all work communications. It will lead you to a healthier, more energising and relaxing life – wherever, whenever.”

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But parody book or not, the word and the idea behind the word are as real as it gets. In fact, Finland even has an emoji for it. Similar to the Danish philosophy of “Hygge” (pronounced hyOO-guh), where one is supposed to attain peace and happiness through coziness and comfort, päntsdrunk, a more attainable version of “Hygge” — all you need to do is chill at home — is slowly finding a lot of positive appeal.

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[Photo: finland.fi]

At its core, it is philosophy that is likely to work out for the millennial. In 2016, Johnny Oleksinski of the New York Post called millennials the “the greatest generation — of couch potatoes,” while penning an incoherent “report” about them not deserving New York City; for the simple reason that the trend of choosing to stay indoors — instead of living life outside in loud clubs, drinking shots that are almost as expensive as a cheap mobile phone — has been on the rise. And there are ample reasons for that.

The air is toxic, the people hostile, everything is more expensive and everyone is more depressed. In any case, the world has the internet that has made most reasons to venture out rather obsolete. If the alternative is spending time in an environment that is clearly not right for most people physically, mentally and economically, then sitting at home in one’s undies and drinking a few pints of beer seems like a good plan.

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Perhaps, päntsdrunk does have some merit to it and the Fins deserve more credit than we give them. According to a 2018 United Nations report, Finland was ranked the happiest country on Earth. And if the happiest people on the planet feel like drinking alone at home, dressed in underpants, is the way to go, who is to argue?

With a rank of 133 (out of 156), India, on the other hand, is mostly a sad place to live in. The recipe for our misery is profoundly simple.

One part “being overworked”, two parts “a farcical sense of social freedoms”, a dash of “shortage of jobs” topped with liberal amounts of “widespread poverty” and “curbs on the most basic of sexual freedoms” with a hint of “fake news”; add to that “everyday occurrences of violence against religious minorities, lower castes and women” and pour it all in one giant “borderline fascist” regime. Shake gently. Do not stir — you get one of the unhappiest cocktails in the world.

And if you’re going to consume this cocktail, why not do it at home, in your underwear, with no intention of going out?

Last updated: June 11, 2018 | 20:19
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