Trolled by a trillion! Why we can’t wait for the BJP cyber sena
The saffron party is hiring 2 lakh people for its IT cell.
Are you confused about the 2019 elections? Are saffron shenanigans and rainbow coalitions both making you sick? Thanks to WhatsApp forwards, are you always in a simmer of discontent, righteous cause after historic wrong crying for your attention? Well, for people of at least one state in India, abhi toh party shuru hui hai.
Muskurayiye, ki aap Uttar Pradesh mein hain, and it is hiring season.
The BJP is looking to expand its IT cell, and will, reports suggest, train 2 lakh people as members of its “cyber sena”.
The intentions behind the move, as Radhe Ma pithily put, are “pure and pious”. Uttar Pradesh BJP vice-president, JPS Rathore, has said the cyber sainiks will take the state’s welfare schemes to the people, and make sure the voters’ list in the state is updated and all fake names removed.
Of course, an Election Commission exists for this precise purpose, and the BJP in three and a half years spent Rs 3,755 crore on advertisements to take its schemes to the people, but that doesn’t matter.
Of course, there are those who say the sena sounds sinister, what with even the BJP IT cell chief, Amit Malviya, at times displaying a rather tenuous grasp of what is fact versus what is fiction, what is informative, what is inflammatory, but such people most definitely don’t matter.
Then there are those who are questioning who will pay these people and how much, if they will give up their day jobs or just moonlight as cyber warriors.
Yeh lo, see!
This class doesn’t understand that the sainiks will be slightly like LoC par hamare tainat jawan, working for matrubhumi, not moolah.
"Acchhe din" will never come if all we do is ask rational questions and demand logical answers.
Instead, just for a moment, let’s dwell, with a swachch mind, on all the positives the cyber army is likely to bring into our lives — carpet-bombing of information about the ills committed by Muslim rulers and covered up by Congress looters, regular updates about the threat to Hindu sisters and cow mothers, existing and emerging dangers of love jihad and land jihad, interspersed with tender tales about the love of Yogi Adityanath for cows.
Into that heaven of free information, my Father, let my country awake.
Life will become so much simpler. When prickly questions of a shaky economy, no jobs or rising inflation bother us, we will have the reassuring knowledge that, so what, mandir wahin banega.
When we are assailed with doubts about unfulfilled poll promises, rising NPAs, all we will need to remember is that we gave the Khangressis 70 years. Of course, in those 70 years, the BJP-led NDA was in power from 2004-2009, from 1998 to 1999, and even Morarji Desai’s government was supported by the BJP’s predecessor, the Jana Sangh. But math does not matter when maths are flourishing and mahants are chief ministers.
When questioned about rising atrocities on minorities, we will have the one mic-drop question — “Bengal aur Kerala nahin dikhta? (Can’t you see Bengal and Kerala?)” The beauty of the argument is that neither the questioner, nor the person answering are likely to have spent much time in Bengal or Kerala, so anything said about the states will be considered valid.
Using “Bharat Mata ki Jai” will, in any case, guarantee instant victory in any verbal dispute.
The Internet existed in India since the time of the Mahabharata, and the BJP is the true inheritor of that glorious past. No wonder it is working hard to usher in Digital India, Cyber Sena Ka Samay, Time of the Trillion Trolls.
The blessed state of UP is going to be the first one to feel its benefits. They must feel so blessed.