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Why the Great Big Celebrity Shaadi is turning into a never-ending Navratri

Whatever happened to Bollywood’s age-old mantra — chatt mangni, pat vyaah?

 |  3-minute read |   03-12-2018
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If browsing through your Instagram feed every morning gives you a sense of didn’t-they-get-married-yesterday déjà-vu, take a seat, and let’s engage in some cribbing.

So India’s husband no. 1, Ranveer Singh, tied the knot with India’s wife no. 1, Deepika Padukone, last month — November 14-15 — in Lake Como in Italy. It’s been two weeks and we’re still not sure if their wedding extravaganza is over, or if they’re hiding a few more Sabyasachi outfits in their closet.

Initial reports suggested that after the Italian wedding, the couple will host a reception in Bengaluru for Dippy’s family and relatives, and then a reception in Mumbai for Ranveer’s family, relatives and their combined industry friends. Which is fair, after all, it’s THEIR wedding.

However, we now have one sangeet, one mehendi, one wedding, and about four receptions, spread out over a period of approximately 14 days.

And with every occasion, there’s also an occasion to dress up, which means Deepika has had more costume changes than any average female actor ever did in one song in a film.

collage_120318043825.jpgNo, it's not a Sanjay Leela Bhansali film, it's just Deepika's wedding. (Source: Instagram)

Let’s see, there was the gold saree that brought about Sabya’s oopsie moment, there was the jagrata outfit, then there was another golden saree with an emerald choker that almost choked her, there was the Frida Kahlo-inspired Sabya gown, then came the ivory outfits reminiscent of the ivory towers they live in, and now, the shimmery red Jumma-Chumma outfit, that of course, demanded a Jumma Chumma performance. (Psst, apparently they obliged).

If there’s a petition being signed on Change.org to stop calling it a ‘wedding’ and start calling it ‘Navratri’ instead, I’m signing. If not, then I’m starting it.

For a regular social media binger, the problem is plebeian — which look to replicate for the cousin ki shaadi.

But for us, it’s about keeping track. Not just of the colour and style of the outfit worn, but of the designer behind it, and the designer who claims is behind it, the 'man-hours' dedicated to making it — as Abu Jani-Sandeep Khosla pointed out, and a thousand things like that. Not keeping track leads to being cornered and judged — at the office, on the school friends’ WhatsApp group, in the metro.

 

 

And just when we thought DeepVeerKiShaadi was over, it wasn’t.

Scanning new pictures and updating info...

As an aside, may I just add that the list of reasons why I like Rakhi Sawant just got longer — simply because she’s decided to go commando for her wedding. Na rahega lehenga, na rahega designer. Whatever happened to Bollywood’s age-old mantra — chatt mangni, pat shaadi?

And Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas are no different either. While the Jonas clan is truly treating it like a dress-up game — have you seen their Bollywood-style stage performances? — PeeCee is clearly making up for three Quantico seasons worth of not getting to wear ethnic.

After all, she IS the Desi Girl, and the cliché-loving Internet will not let you forget that.

Of course, social media has made it exceedingly difficult to escape the wave, which only led to a feeling of déjà-vu, as I mentioned in the beginning.

via GIPHY

But if you are one of those (very) lucky (very) few people who HAVE somehow managed to save themselves from the recent celebrity wedding hurricane that hit us, pray tell me how I can build myself a storm shelter. So I can be better prepared the next time.

For celebrity weddings are never going to stop. Follow Karan Johar’s predictions closely and one would know that there are two more coming our way pretty soon — and we simply cannot take the tamasha anymore.

Also read: Why I am not impressed with #DeepVeer’s ‘boring’ outfits

 

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